Women for Votes 




Elizabeth Hughes 




Class t t^'SuIt^ 
Book. L/^l Wi 



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COPYRIGHT DEPOSm 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 



Women for Votes 



By 

Elizabeth Hughes 




New York 

E. P. Dutton & Company 

1912 



Copyright, 1912 

BY 

E. P. BUTTON & COMPANY 






^ 



A Farce in Three Acts 

Persons of the Play: 

George Tilsbury. 

Josephine Tilsbury, his wife. 

Mildred Tilsbury, his daughter by a former marriage, 

Imogene Brown, ^ 

Edward Melvin „ . , . ,, ^., , 

TT TT riA y Friends of the Tilsourys. 

Horace Van Tousel, [ -' -^ 

Theodore Becker, J 

Mary Henrietta Thom, a leader of the Women 

Suffragists. 
Sophie Slavinsky, a minor partisan, 
Katy, the parlormaid at the Tilsburys\ 
Helma, the cook at the Tilsbury s\ 
CocHON, Mrs. Brown's pet pig with his ears trimmed 

and wearing an elaborate blanket. 
Time: the present. The action of the play takes 
place in the City of New York during a week in 
November. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 

ACT I 

The drawing-room at the Tilshurys^ house in the City of 
New Yorky tastefully arranged, with a door ai each 
end and a sofa against the wall, over which hangs a 
beautiful full-length portrait of the first Mrs, Tils- 
bury. When the curtain rises, MRS. brown is 
seen seated in an easy chair, turning over the pages of 
a magazine, while cochon is asleep on the floor 
beside her. Enter MRS. tilsbury with her hat on, a 
contrast to mrs. brown who is in dinner dress, 

MRS. brown. {Looking up as mrs. tilsbury enters.) 
Well, was the meeting a success? 

MRS. tilsbury. Oh, a huge success. We were told 
of all sorts of horrors. Only fancy, Imogene, until 
1857 — or was it 1858? well, it does n't matter which 
— women were not allowed to testify on the witness 
stand about their husbands' pedigrees. 

MRS. BROWN. Why did they want to testify about 
their husbands' pedigrees? If it were about their 
husbands' descendants now, a second family sub rosa, 
there might be something in it. They might testify 
about their pets' pedigrees might they not? I would 
be permitted to tell all about your pedigree on a horrid 

3 



4 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

old witness stand, would n't I little tootsie-wootsie- 
tootsie? {Takes up pig and caresses it.) 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I don't know, I am sure, why they 
should want to. The only time I ever took any 
interest in my husband's pedigree was when I wanted 
to join the Society of Colonial Caudlers, and then I was 
told that my husband's ancestors did not count, but 
that I must stand on my own. 

MRS. BROWN. Stand on your own! Could you 
find their graves? 

MRS. TILSBURY. No, that was the trouble. I 
have n't any ancestors. I would n't have wanted to 
use my husband's if I had had any of my own, but it 
was n't any use. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, if that is all they said at the 
meeting I think I passed a more profitable afternoon. 
See this purse that I won as a prize at the Bridge 
party. 

MRS. TILSBURY. 0, what a beauty! I do wish I 
could have gone. It is just what I want. Generally, 
Bridge prizes are some old thing that go from house to 
house as rapidly as a servant girl. Those tiresome 
suffrage meetings take up all my time. I never have 
a chance to do anything I like. 

MRS. BROWN. Why do you go to them? I never 
do. I don't want to vote, there are so many other 
things that are more amusing. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I go with Mildred, she is so in- 
terested in Woman's Suffrage. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, you are a good — I don't even 
like to say the word. It would be such a misnomer 
in your case. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 5 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Stepmother, you mean. Oh, you 
need n't mind saying it. I would be constantly 
reminded of it by that {looks up at portrait over sofa) 
even if it were not for other things. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, that too. It is so magnani- 
mous of you to hang it there, to give such prominence 
to the first Mrs. Tilsbury. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I suppose it is more respectable 
to succeed a wife who is dead than one who is 
divorced. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, by all means. Dead women tell 
no lies, nor the truth either, and sometimes divorcees 
delight in telling tales about their first husbands' 
second wives. But, tell me, why do you take the 
trouble to go to all these tiresome meetings when you 
might be enjoying yourself? Can't Mildred go alone 
or with some friend? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Well, I supposc it is no harder way 
of making a living than any other. I was an artist 
before I married Mr. Tilsbury. My father lost all his 
money in the panic of 1893 and I had to do something 
to help mother. 

MRS. BROWN. Making a living? You don't mean 
to tell me that the Women Suffragists are forced to pay 
their audiences to make them come to the meetings? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, no ! Not that of course ; but I 
suppose I might as well make a clean breast of it, 
particularly as I want you to help me ! 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, do. I should love to help you. 
You have always been so kind to me. What do you 
want me to do? 

MRS. TILSBURY. It 's this way, you see. Mildred's 



6 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

mother had all the money. George never had a cent 
of his own and he always spent whatever he could lay 
his hands on, so when Mrs. Tilsbury died she left a 
will bequeathing everything to Mildred except that 
old portrait there, which she gave to George as a token 
of her affection, and to show that she did not bear him 
any ill-will. The property is to belong to Mildred 
absolutely when she is twenty-five, or when she 
marries, if she should marry younger. Until either 
of these events happen, the estate is to be held 
in trust. The trustee appointed by Mrs. Tilsbury 
died a few days after she did, and George as Mildred's 
father and nearest friend was made trustee. See? 

MRS. BROWN. Yes. How clever you are. You 
talk just like a lawyer. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, my dear! I have heard it 
talked over so often that I have learned it by heart, 
but when I repeat those phrases, I feel just as if I had 
tight boots on. I am so glad to take them off and 
talk naturally again. 

MRS. BROWN. I don't sce what all this has to do 
with Woman's Suffrage. Did Mrs. Tilsbury make it a 
condition in her will that Mildred should be brought 
up to support "votes for women"? 

MRS. TILSBURY. No, but whcn George first pro- 
posed to me, he told me all about the will, and said 
that it would be my duty if I married him to keep 
Mildred from marrying. He said that if she could be 
made to take an interest in other things and not marry 
until she was twenty-five, she would not be likely to 
marry at all, but would probably continue to live 
with us and leave the money in his hands ; that it ran 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 7 

in the family to marry early or not at all, that two of 
her aunts had eloped when in their teens, and that the 
others were all old maids. Sometimes I think that 
George only married me so as to have some one to look 
after Mildred. A paid chaperone would not have the 
same interest at stake. She would only have her salary 
and Mildred might pension her if she married, but 
George and I are utterly dependent on that young girl. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, don't say that. Everybody 
knows how much George was in love with you. Why, 
he was positively foolish. It was to keep Mildred 
from marrjdng, then, that you influenced her to take 
part in the cause of Woman's Suffrage? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Yes, George and I talked it over 
and we decided that that would be the most absorbing 
interest for her. You see the speakers tell such awful 
stories about men, and the inequality of men and 
women before the law, and the dreadful laws against 
married women, that no self-respecting girl who heard 
them would want to talk to a man hardly, much less 
dare to marry one. 

MRS. BROWN. Mildred made a speech this after- 
noon did n't she? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, her first one, and she has been 
so busy and interested in writing it that she has n't 
given a thought to the other sex except to denounce 
their vices. 

MRS. BROWN. You have just returned from the 
meeting now. What a long one it must have been. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Endless; and then the ladies 
insisted upon Mildred's waiting afterwards for con- 
gratulations and a cup of tea. 



8 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. BROWN. You want me to help you, you 
say, but really, I have no time to go to these meetings. 
My time is so taken up. There is to-day for ex- 
ample. This morning I had my Auction Bridge class 
from nine until eleven, and that is most exhausting. 
The teacher keeps saying "ladies concentrate" just 
when I am concentrating on what stunning hands he 
has and so beautifully manicured. 

MRS. TILSBURY. My dear, I knew a woman once — 
you would know her, too, if I told you her name — who 
fell so in love with an actor that she studied manicur- 
ing, found out where he went to be manicured, and 
got a job there just to hold his hand an hour every two 
or three days! 

MRS. BROWN. Some women are so silly ! What was 
I saying? Oh, yes, after the Bridge class, I went to the 
Chansons de Chiffons, and I wish you could have seen 
Mme. Duffoird who sang. Those opera singers never 
know how to dress, that is why they always want to 
be Brunhildas and Carmens. Why, in all the times I 
have gone to the opera, I have never obtained a fresh 
idea ! 

MRS. TILSBURY. I saw rather a pretty gown in 
Sappho once. Cavalieri wore it. That 's a modern 
opera. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, I saw that. It looked as if it 
were made in Germany. Well, as I was saying, from 
the concert, I went to a luncheon, then to the Bridge 
party, and now I am here for dinner. I have not even 
had the time to give Cochon the air. Mother did n't 
even have time to take her little pet walking, did she 
tootsie-wootsie-tootsie ? That 's why I brought him 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 9 

here to-night. Your rooms are bigger than mine and 
he has more space to run around in. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, I did n't intend to ask you to go 
to meetings. I have been obliged to give up so much 
to go to them myself that I would not ask it of any one 
else. It has been very hard. I was asked to be a 
manager in the " Unseen Blushers "and I had to refuse 
because I had n't the time. 

MRS. BROWN. "The Unseen Blushers"? Oh, that's 
the new artistic, musical, and literary society, is n't 
it? — but why do they call it by such an odd name? 
I thought blushes were made to be seen. They 
are so becoming. I have always wondered that 
no one has ever invented a rouge that could be 
turned off and on like an electric light before and 
after a kiss. There are so many clever inventions 
nowadays. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, not that kind of a blush. " Full 
many a flower is born to blush unseen, " you know. It 
means to blossom I think. This society is for the 
discovery of hidden genius. The old theory was that 
men and women of genius rose to the top as naturally 
as cream rises and that they produced their works of 
art as unconcernedly as a hen hatches her eggs, but 
now the psychologists and physicists believe in aiding 
nature. They find that they can get more cream by 
means of a separator, that it isallthroueh the milk and 
needs to be forced out, and that incubators can hatch 
eggs better than hens. So this society has been 
formed to encourage artistic, musical, and literary 
talent that is hard to discover and is unable to find 
its way to the surface. You understand ! 



10 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. BROWN. I don't! It is all Greek to me, but 
you are so clever, Josephine. Tell me about your art. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I have been forced to give it all up 
because of Mildred, and my last picture was such a 
success too. It received the third prize in the impres- 
sionist class. It was a painting of a street cleaner — 
a White Wing. I got the idea from a cup of chocolate 
I upset. The whipped cream made almost all the 
figure, the white uniform, you know, and then a few 
drops of chocolate looked like the bronzed face of a 
swarthy Italian. I just copied the spill exactly. 
Near by the thick white paint looked precisely like 
the whipped cream, but if you stood six yards away 
every one said it looked just like a street sweeper 
bending over with his broom to sweep up the dust. 

MRS. BROV/N. How bcautiful, and what an original 
idea! 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, that is what everybody said. 
Nowadays, when there is so much interest taken in 
the Traffic Squad of police and the firemen, the men 
who save lives in a conspicuous and sensational manner, 
and every one wants to reward them and paint them 
and sculpture them and their horses, no one remembers 
the humble life-savers who protect us from deadly 
diseases and pestilences by keeping the streets clean. 
One woman wrote a poem about my picture, beginning, 
''Germ gatherer grovelling in the gritty gravel." It 
was charming. It is published in the Unseen Blushers 
Review. I will send you a copy. 

MRS. BROWN. Please do. I should love to have 
it and a photograph of your painting too. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I will remember. Yes, my whole 



WOMEN FOR VOTES ii 

career was just beginning when I had to give it all up to 
follow Mildred around to Woman's Suffrage meetings 
only because there is more money in it. What does 
the artistic woman want of a vote? Art has always 
been open to both sexes, and the Unseen Blushers 
include both men and women. 

MRS. BROWN. It is Very hard on you when you 
have so much talent to leave it all unused, but since 
you don't want me to go to meetings, what assistance 
can I be to you? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I know you were very unhappy in 
your married life, and I want you to tell Mildred all 
about it. 

MRS. BROWN. {Indignantly.) Really, Josephine, 
there are some things that one does n't talk about to 
a child. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Mildred is eighteen, and the men 
are after her already. You have no idea what men 
will do to get a little money. 

MRS. BROWN. I cannot lay bare the secrets of my 
married life. Besides, I don't know but I might marry 
again. My experience was in some ways unfortunate 
to be sure, but one swallow does n't make a summer, 
nor one man matrimony. 

MRS. TILSBURY. One man does n't make matri- 
mony! To hear you, Imogene, one would think you 
were — not a Mormon but the other thing; what is it 
they call it? — oh, yes, I remember, a polyanthus. 

MRS. BROWN. I did not mean more than one husband 
at a time. I meant that if a woman is unfortunate in 
her first choice and is left a widow, she might from her 
increased experience be able to select a second husband 



12 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

better. It is very lonesome to be a widow. It is all 
very well in the daytime when the men are down-town 
but the evenings are so long. There are so many 
jokes about widows that a man is afraid to be left 
alone with one. If I should talk a lot against marriage 
and then suddenly marry again, my inconsistency 
would do more harm to your cause than if I should 
keep silence in the first place. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I don't know about that. I used 
to have a beau when I was a girl who always kept 
repeating, "Inconsistency, thy name is woman." 
He said it so often that I have never been able to 
forget it since. 

MRS. BROWN. How is any one to know I want to 
marry again if I talk against matrimony? The men 
will all fly from me. No, Josephine, I must say how 
lonely I am and how nice it is to have a man come home 
at five o'clock and to make him comfy beside the fire, 
and how I love the odor of a cigar, and how strong men 
are beside us weak women, and that I wish I had some 
one to help me with my business which I find so diffi- 
cult to understand. No, I can't run down men to 
Mildred like a peevish old maid or a disappointed wife 
even to help you. 

MRS. TILSBURY. But cvcry one knows how jealous 
your husband was of you. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, I worked awfully hard to make 
him so. I don't think I will stay for dinner,Josephine, 
after all. You are too personal to-day. (Rises to go.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Don't be peeved, Imogene; stay, 
and talk about whatever you choose. If you would 
only help me it would be to your advantage if you 






WOMEN FOR VOTES 13 

really are thinking about marrying again. You 
would meet ever so many men here. They are indeed 
like flies about a honey pot. 

MRS. BROWN. Fortune hunters! I am not looking 
for that kind. I need to find a snug little fortune 
myself. You know Mr. Brown left me his money 
only on condition that I did not marry again. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, I know, dear. He was always 
very jealous. You should tell Mildred about that will. 

MRS. BROWN. And be rewarded by being shown off 
to her fortune hunters. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Some of them have money. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, and want more to add to it. 
I know that sort. A man without a cent might marry 
a poor girl and work for her, but a man with a little 
money wants to gather in a little more when he marries, 
just like an old china collector. 

MRS. TILSBURY. There are exceptions. 

MRS. BROWN. The men who want to control their 
wives through their purse. Don't think the excep- 
tion improves the rule, Josephine. 

MRS. TILSBURY. You are almost as bitter against 
men as the suffragists. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, no. I like men, only I know the 
faults of some of them. Who is coming here to-night ? 

MRS. TILSBURY. A Mr. Becker and a Mr. Van 
Tousel. They have both been rushing Mildred for 
the last three weeks, but fortunately she has been so 
interested in her speech that she has hardly noticed 
them. 

MRS. BROWN. Why did you ask them to dinner? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Mr. Van Tousel fairly asked 



14 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

himself. His attentions to Mildred have been so 
costly that I could not refuse him when he suggested 
coming after the meeting this afternoon, and then I 
invited Mr. Becker so that we might play Bridge and 
protect Mildred from a t^te-a-tete. 

MRS. BROWN. What are they like? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Mr. Bccker is a lawyer, and Mr. 
Van Tousel is old family. 

MRS. BROWN. Does he find it lucrative? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Find what lucrative? 

MRS. BROWN. Being old family? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Well, it furnishes him with con- 
versation. That is something in these days. 

MRS. BROWN. He must be an awful bore. What 
about Mr. Becker? 

MRS. TILSBURY. I told you he is a lawyer. 

MRS. BROWN. That is not very descriptive. 

MRS. TILSBURY. It is in his case. George says that 
points of law are sticking out all over him so that he is 
as prickly as a hedgehog. 

MRS. BROWN. Where does he come from? 

MRS. TILSBURY. From up state somewhere. He is 
a rising man. 

MRS. BROWN. I have met so many rising men but 
they never seem to arrive. They remind me of an 
elevator that gets stuck between floors. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Without any passengers on board, 
I hope. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, they usually are weighted down 
with a family. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Mr. Bcckcr is a bachelor and 
George says he is making a very good income. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 15 

MRS. BROWN. Well, that is satisfactory. There 
is the door-bell now. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. So you See, Imogene, both of these 
men are exceptions to your remarks. 

KATY. (Announcing,) Mr. Van Tousel! 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, Mr. Van Tousel ! I was just 
thinking of you and saying to Mrs. Brown that there 
are some men who are exceptions to the common run 
of selfish, self-centred New York men and that you 
were one of these exceptions. Mr. Van Tousel is so 
broad-minded. He believes in "the cause. " 

MRS. BROWN. Indeed! 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. I think it is a disgrace, madam, 
to ask women to pay taxes, to contribute their share 
to the maintenance of the government, and then to 
refuse them a single vote in the management of that 
same government. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Is n't he gencrous ! 

MRS. BROWN. (In a low voice.) People generally 
are with what is n't their own. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. How is Miss Mildred? I was 
at the meeting this afternoon and saw her sitting on 
the platform. What a noble sight it is to see a beauti- 
ful young girl, far removed from the struggle for 
existence, take up the cause of her less fortunate 
sisters. 

MRS. BROWN. I thought from what you just said 
that you believed only tax-payers ought to vote. Of 
course, you know Mildred pays large taxes. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Oh, Mrs. Brown, how could you 
so misunderstand me! I believe in the franchise 
for all women. 



i6 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. TILSBURY. Here is Mildred now. She went 
to change her gown for dinner, but we were so late 
in returning from the meeting that Mrs. Brown was 
already here, and so I did not take the time to change 
mine. I hope you will both excuse me. 

{Mildred enters.) 

MRS. BROWN. You look charming, Josephine, as 
you always do. How do you do, Mildred? 

MILDRED. How do you do, Mrs. Brown. How do 
you do, Mr. Van Tousel? {Shakes hands with both, and 
then turns towards the pig.) How is Cochon? 

MRS. BROWN. He has been alone all day, poor 
little beastie. That is why I brought him here to- 
night. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Ah, Mrs. Brown, what a dear 
little dog. What breed is he, may I ask? 

MRS. BROWN. Pig, Mr. Van Tousel, common pig. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Do you mean to say he is only a 

pig? 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, it is the fashion to be original 
at present, you know, and to be original in dogs now- 
adays is so expensive. One has to get an animal 
from the Summer Palace of the Empress of China or 
the kennels of some royal prince, so I thought I would 
be original in making a pet of a pig. I am the first 
woman in New York to start the idea. The reporters 
from all the newspapers would be after me for an inter- 
view if it were generally known, but I am obliged to 
keep it a secret because there is an old law against 
keeping pigs in New York City. They used to be 
employed as scavengers, then they became so numer- 
ous that this law was passed. I can't take Cochon out 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 17 

in the daytime, except in a motor car, for fear I shall 
be arrested, although he looks exactly like a little dog 
with his blanket on, except for his snout. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Yes, I thought of course he was a 
dog. 

MRS. BROWN. The police are so disagreeable that 
one has to be very careful. Only the other day when 
I was late for a Bridge party, and I had offered the 
chauffeur of the taxicab double fare to get me there in 
time, a perfectly horrid officer arrested him and insisted 
upon taking off both the driver and the cab to the 
station house, although I explained everything to 
him and that it was most important for me to arrive 
in time because it was a club party and every table 
was to play against the room for a prize in money. 
All he said was, " Madam, you can walk. " 

MRS. TiLSBURY. That was because women have no 
vote, no influence. If you had been a man, he would 
not have dared to make you late for an important 
engagement. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Quite true. 

MILDRED. I don't believe the policeman saw 
whether the chauffeur had a man or a woman passenger 
when he arrested him, Mrs. Brown, but of course as 
a rule a vote does give a man the advantage. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. How wondcrfuUy you reason, 
Miss Mildred ! 

KATY (Announcing.) Miss Slavinsky! 

{Sophie enters.) 

MILDRED. How do you do, Sophie. 

SOPHIE. Oh, Mildred, I am afraid that I have come 
at a very bad time, just when you have all these grand 



1 8 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

folks here, but I ran in right after supper, because I 
do not like to be out late. The cops pinch women 
down our way, you know, when they are out alone too 
late {looks up at Mr. Van Tousel), and I had to see 
you to-night because Mrs. Thorn asked me to tell you 
that you have been chosen out of ever so many, as the 
most popular girl, to carry the banners of our Society 
in the Parade to-morrow. 

MILDRED. That was very kind of the ladies. 
Where is the banner? 

SOPHIE. I could not bring it with me. It is very 
heavy and it would make me look strange to carry 
it in the streets. The bad little boys would say, 
"Where did you get the barber's pole, Miss?" I 
thought you would send for it to the Society's rooms 
in your beautiful automobile. 

MILDRED. Yes, certainly. I '11 send the first thing 
in the morning. Let me introduce you to my step- 
mother, Mrs. Tilsbury, and this is Mrs. Brown and Mr. 
Van Tousel. We are all interested in the enfranchise- 
ment of women. You are among friends. 

SOPHIE. A gentleman who cares for our cause ! Oh, 
that is great, as you Americans say. If we had many 
more like him, we would be voting just like the men. 
I am proud to shake your hand, Mr. Van Tousel. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Thank you, Miss Slavinsky. Any 
friend of Miss Tilsbury is a friend of mine. 

SOPHIE. She is indeed a wonder. To leave this 
beautiful home and her grand friends just to help us 
poor working girls to get our rights ! 

MRS. BROWN. What work do you do, Miss Slavinsky? 

SOPHIE. I am an usheress. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 19 

MRS. BROWN. A what? 

SOPHIE. An usheress, a lady usher at the theatre. 
And I have to work, oh, so hard, every night and 
matinees on Wednesdays and Saturdays. 

MRS. BROWN. It must be very nice to see all the 
plays without paying anything. 

SOPHIE. One can't see much when one has to show 
stupid men and women to their seats all through the 
first act. People should not be allowed to come in 
after the curtain goes up. Then, too, we have the 
same play for so long. A run they call it. It is more 
like a walk, it is so slow. Now at the opera, they 
change every night, but the men have it all their own 
way there. They won't have an usheress, but we 
will stop that monopoly soon. We have just organ- 
ized a union, and we shall demand equal pay as the 
men. Now they try to put us off on half pay because 
we are women. 

MILDRED. I think there is a prejudice against 
women ushers in New York. I don't see why, they 
have them at all the theatres in London. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. And Very neat and pretty they 
look in their white caps and aprons. 

SOPHIE. There is certainly a sex discrimination! 
Why, a man the other night said to me, "You women 
are all alike. You never get a thing straight. " Just 
because I was looking so hard at a woman's bird of 
paradise head-dress that I gave her the man's seat in 
the third row, and when he came in after, I gave him 
the lady's seat in the thirteenth. He threatened to 
complain of me to the box-office — as if men ushers 
never made mistakes! 



20 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MILDRED. How hateful of him ! 

SOPHIE. Well, it will be all different now that we 
have organized. We are going to strike. 

ALL. What ! 

SOPHIE. Yes, and then how we will laugh when we 
see the audience trying to find their own seats in the 
dark, and when they are all seated, we are going to the 
cloak-room to mix up their checks. 

MILDRED. Why, that is militant, like the English 
suffragettes. You would n't do that, Sophie. 

SOPHIE. Yes, we will too, and the management 
will have to pay damages to the people who lose their 
things. We will have great times with the stingy old 
managers. You '11 see. 

MRS. BROWN. Let me know the date. Miss Slavin- 
sky, and I will wear my old coat that I want to get 
rid of and see if I can pull a sable coat out of the 
grab-bag. 

KATY. (Announcing.) Mr. Becker. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Oh, Mr. Becker, how kind of you 
to come to-night to our quiet little dinner when you 
have so many engagements. Let me introduce Mrs. 
Brown. You already know Mildred and Mr. Van 
Tousel, and this is Miss Slavinsky. 

MR. BECKER. How do you do, Mrs. Brown. How 
do you do, Miss Slavinsky. 

SOPHIE. And is this another great big glorious man 
who wants to help us poor weak little women to get 
our rights? No, it is that same rude man who spoke 
so peevish to me at the theatre, the other night. Go 
away, I have no use for you. 

MR. BECKER. I don't recall the circumstances. I 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 21 

think you have made a mistake, Miss Slavinsky. I do 
not think we have ever met before. 

SOPHIE. Oh yes we have. 

MILDRED. Miss Slavinsky is an usheress at a 
theatre, Mr. Becker, and she made a mistake in 
showing you to your seat the other evening that 
annoyed you. 

MR. BECKER. I don't remember it, Miss Tilsbury. 

SOPHIE. Yes, you were at the theatre, don't you 
remember, Mr. Becker, last Monday, with a lady all 
alone. Not a lady like these ladies, but another kind 
of a lady with a big red feather and a big red cheek. 

MR. BECKER. I Still think you are mistaken, Miss 
Slavinsky. I have not been to the theatre in a month. 
You women are apt to jump to conclusions and then 
stick to them. 

SOPHIE. Ah, yes, that is you, that is what you said, 
' ' You women ' ' 

MRS. TILSBURY. Really, Miss Slavinsky, I think 
we had better let the subject drop. It is not a matter 
of great importance as to whether Mr. Becker went 
to the theatre on a particular evening or not. I think 
you said you came to give Miss Tilsbury a message 
about the Parade to-morrow. 

SOPHIE. And now you think I had better go like 
any messenger boy. You are right. What has a poor 
working girl to do in a fine house like this, and among 
fine people like you? Good-night, Mrs. Tilsbury. 
Good-night Mrs. Brown. Good-night, Mr. Becker, 
Good-night, Mildred. I shall see you to-morrow. 

MILDRED. Don't go like this, Sophie. Josephine 
did not mean to hurt your feelings. She was only 



22 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

afraid that you would hurt Mr. Becker's feelings. 
Stay and talk to us all. 

SOPHIE. No, Mildred, I know when I am de trop. 
Everybody is not so amiable as you. I will go. 
Good-night, Mr. Van Tousel ; you are a kind man. If 
you will come to our theatre, the Cosmopolitan Theatre, 
I will show you your seat right away, no matter 
how many wait, and I will bring you a glass of water 
between every act. Oh we have just dear little glasses, 
now that the law is passed that each person has his 
own glass, just the sort to remind one of a cocktail. 
I have borrowed three for my room. What night 
will you come? To-night is Friday and the leading 
lady is ill and the theatre is all dark. That is how I 
could come here, but by Monday she will be all well 
again. You will come Monday, dear Mr. Van Tousel, 
you promise, yes? Good-night, dear friends. {Goes 
out.) 

MRS. BROWN. What an extraordinary creature. 

MILDRED. {In defence.) She is a Pole and not used to 
our ways. She has a most brilliant mind and speaks 
five languages. 

MR. BECKER. Fivc slangs I should call it, if she is as 
proficient in the other tongues as in the American. 
{Turns towards Mrs. Brown.) Is this your little dog, 
Mrs. Brown? 

MRS. BROWN. My little pig, you mean. I was 
saying just now that I can only take him out at night 
except in an automobile, because it is against the 
law in New York to keep pigs. Only fancy, they used 
to run around the streets as scavengers. Then they 
passed a law forbidding keeping them at all. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 2§ 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Pity they don't have them for 
scavengers now. I don't suppose they would strike 
and they feel quite at home in the mud in some of the 
streets. 

MR. BECKER. You women never think about any- 
thing but how to break laws and yet you want to vote. 

MILDRED. If we helped to make the laws, Mr. 
Becker, we would n't want to break them. One 
takes care of whatever one has made. I used to have 
a maid who never put away my dresses carefully unless 
she had put a clean collar or a fresh rufHe on one and 
then she was always most particular to keep it nice. 
It seemed as if when once she had put a little of her 
own hand work on a gown that it acquired a new value 
for her. 

MR. BECKER. Be law-abiding citizens first and 
prove yourselves fit to vote. Women are natural law- 
breakers. Look how women smuggle. The wealth- 
iest and most fashionable are proud of cheating the 
government by bringing in some gown or jewel 
without paying duty on it. Mrs. Brown, here, 
would n't think of keeping a pig if it were not for the 
excitement of breaking the law. 

MRS. BROWN. It is n't that at all, Mr. Becker. I 
keep him to make conversation. Other women have 
dogs for the purpose, but a unique one is too expensive 
and there is almost nothing left to say about an ordi- 
nary one. I never smuggled anything in my life — ^that 
is nothing more important than a pair of silk stockings. 

MR. BECKER. That illustrates what I was saying. 
Women make a business of smuggling for the sake of 
excitement. Could n't you have bought — the 



4 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

article in question just as well in New York, Mrs. 
Brown? 

MRS. TILSBURY. (Afixious to keep the peace.) Cochon 
seems to be making plenty of conversation at present. 
Were you at the meeting this afternoon, Mr. Becker? 

MRS. BROWN. It 's a foolish old law about pigs 
anyway. So far from buying Cochon to break it, 
I never knew anything about it until Mrs. De Huyster 
looked it up to keep me out of the Colonial Caudlers. 
She said that my ancestress was the last woman to 
keep pigs in New York, and that she defied the authori- 
ties and was arrested ; that a woman like that probably 
stole her caudle-cup from some one else, and that I was 
not a proper person to become a member of the society 
on that account. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. How interesting! Then your 
taste for pigs is an example of heredity. 

MR. BECKER. And your taste for law-breaking also. 
What is the Society of Colonial Caudlers? I never 
heard of it. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. It is a very fine society, Mr. 
Becker. My mother is one of its originators and a 
vice-president. All the members are women who have 
inherited a caudle-cup from a Colonial ancestor, and on 
New Year's Day, they all meet and drink punch out of 
the cups. It is a very exclusive society. I don't 
wonder you have never heard of it. 

MRS. BROWN. It is Very difficult to get in, but Mrs. 
de Huyster could n't keep me out in spite of her 
raking up old history, for I discovered that her cup was 
only pewter, and she had to turn all her attention to 
passing a by-law that pewter cups were admissible 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 25 

as well as silver. They had an awful time. It 
almost broke up the whole society. The pewter- 
ites claimed to be the real thing because they said 
that the pewter cups came over first and that 
silver cups were not introduced until much later, 
and that only the parvenues in the Colonies had 
silver cups. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Women are active in so many 
directions nowadays. The Society of Colonial 
Caudlers shows how much they have done in the 
line of historical research. 

MR. BECKER. It IS a pity they don't spend a little 
more activity in housekeeping. That little Pole 
would make an excellent cook probably. 

MILDRED. Oh, Mr. Becker, Sophie has too much 
education to do housework. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {In desperation.) Were you at the 
meeting this afternoon, Mr. Becker? 

MR. BECKER. What meeting, Mrs. Tilsbury? I 
was at a Bank Directors' meeting, an executive meet- 
ing of an Insurance Company, and at a meeting of a 
special committee of the State Bar Association to 
draft some measures which we hope to recommend to 
the Legislature. I was at all these meetings. Which 
one do you refer to, Mrs. Tilsbury? 

MRS. TILSBURY. I meant the Woman's Suffrage 
meeting. 

MR. BECKER. I did not know anything about it. 
{Turning to Mildred.) You were not there I hope, 
Miss Tilsbury. 

MILDRED. Indeed I was, Mr. Becker. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Why Mildred was one of the 



26 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

principal speakers. That is why I thought you would 
be there. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Yes, Miss Tilsbury made her 
maiden speech — or should I say the maiden's speech? 
I congratulate you. It was fine. 

MR. BECKER. I wonder your father allows it. You 
might better be at home, darning his stockings. 

MRS. BROWN. You are not in favor of Woman's 
Suffrage I take it, Mr. Becker. 

MR. BECKER. No, indeed, I believe that the home is 
the best place for women. The rough outside world is 
not suitable for them. When I see you women crying 
for the ballot like a baby crying for the moon, I think 
it would do you just as much good if you got it. You 
might better be at home taking care of your children 
if you have any. I dislike to see women trying to 
turn themselves into men . They should be shielded and 
protected from all the disagreeable things in the world. 

MILDRED. Sometimes men do not protect them, 
Mr. Becker, but take advantage of them instead. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Ah, Miss Mildred, that was a 
wonderful speech you made this afternoon. Your 
speaking of men's taking advantage of women reminds 
me of the poor countess you told about. 

MR. BECKER. What countess was that, Miss Tils- 
bury ? Tell me about her and you will see how much 
pleasanter it is to speak before a sympathetic audience 
of one in a charming drawing-room than before a 
hooting crowd in a bare, badly-ventilated political 
haU. 

MILDRED. There was no hooting this afternoon. 
There was some applause, but that was rather nice. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 27 

MR. BECKER. I will applaud if you will tell me the 
story. 

MILDRED. But Mr. Van Tousel has already heard it. 

MR. BECKER. Let him go and talk to Mrs. Brown 
then about her pig. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. I should like to hear it again. 
You tell it so well, Miss Mildred. 

MILDRED. Well, the Viscountess of Mont acute was 
betrothed to Sir George Maxwell. That was long ago 
in the days of George the First, when a married woman's 
property belonged absolutely to her husband unless 
it was securely settled upon her before the marriage. 
The Viscountess had a large estate and she wanted to 
keep it in her own hands, but Sir George, while always 
declaring that he would never touch her money, 
delayed signing the settlement from day to da}- until 
finally the wedding day arrived and the bride was 
putting on all her finery in one room in her castle and 
the groom was struggling to get into his stiff white 
brocade coat in another; then Lady Montacute sud- 
denly thought of the paper still unsigned and sent it 
to Sir George while the clergyman and all the guests 
were waiting below. He came flying to her room. 

"My dearest love," he said, "how could you mor- 
tify me so by sending that settlement to me to be 
signed before all my friends who were helping me to 
dress? You showed them all that you distrust me 
and that you think that I care more for your con- 
founded fortune than for your sweet self. If you have 
so little confidence in me, let us break off the match 
before it is too late. I could not love an unbelieving 
wife." 



28 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

The Viscountess burst into tears and almost washed 
off the little black patch which her maid had just 
placed on her rouged cheek. 

"Do not be so cruel, Sir George," she cried. "It 
was those odious lawyers who have been pressing me 
to insist upon you putting your signature to this 
settlement. You know that I myself trust you 
completely." 

Sir George clasped her in his arms regardless of 
her powdered hair which showered upon his coat. 

"You shall always be free to enjoy your fortune 
as you will," he promised "the same as if you remained 
unwed." 

The Viscountess was so touched by his forgiveness 
of her lack of faith in him that she gave no further 
thought to the settlement and they went down-stairs 
hand in hand and were married by the clergyman 
at once. 

Needless to say, a few years later, Sir George 
claimed his marital right to gamble away his wife's 
fortune and the distressed . Viscountess went to the 
Lord Chancellor for protection, demanding that Sir 
George be compelled to keep his promise that she 
should enjoy her own estate. She found that she 
was powerless against her husband since the promise 
was not in writing. The learned Judges decided 
that soft words spoken in a moment of infatuation 
were not fraudulent if afterwards their purport was 
neglected, and that a lover's vows do not constitute 
a contract though sealed with Hymen's torch, so 
the unfortunate lady was reduced to beggary. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. WondcrfuUy dramatic. Beau- 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 29 

tifully told. When I heard you repeat that story 
this afternoon, Miss Mildred, I was more convinced 
than ever how necessary it is for women to have the 
vote. 

MR. BECKER. Such a thing could not happen in 
these days. The married women's property act has 
changed all that. 

MILDRED. Women still have some wrongs which 
need to be remedied, Mr. Becker, and a vote would be 
of great assistance to them in righting those wrongs. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. And you are going to help me 
right them. Miss Mildred. You remind me of St. 
Elizabeth. Every time you spoke this afternoon it 
seemed as if a rose fell out from between your lips. 

MILDRED. I thought it was the bread which she 
was carrying to the poor which was turned into roses, 
Mr. Van Tousel, not the words she spoke. 

MR. BECKER. That is just what you modern women 
want to do, to give the poor roses when they are 
crying for bread. 

MILDRED. The miracle was performed in order 
that St. Elizabeth might avoid the anger of her hus- 
band. He was a hard-hearted man and objected to 
her charities. 

MR. BECKER. Oh, that was different. You ought 
to have a husband to send roses to you. Miss Tilsbury, 
but I suppose your head is so full of these "old 
wives' tales" that you never think of marriage. 

MILDRED. I don't know that I have thought very 
much about it as regards myself. 

MR. BECKER. Marriage is the highest aim of 
women's existence. Miss Tilsbury, and when she seeks 



30 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

to avoid it, she makes herself an object of contempt 
to all right thinking men and women no matter how 
much they may pretend to believe the contrary. 

MILDRED. Sometimes a girl does n't meet a man 
she can love. 

MR. BECKER. Then she should marry a man who 
loves her. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Yes, Miss Mildred, it really 
does n't make any difference whether you begin your 
dinner with soup and end with ice-cream or begin with 
ice-cream and end with soup. It 's all the same to 
you a week afterwards, and whether you begin with 
loving your husband or being loved by him is the same 
in the end. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. {To MRS. BROWN.) There they are, 
both at her again, each in his own way. Do cut in 
and stop them. 

MRS. BROWN. {Humming softly,) 

"You take the high road, 
And I '11 take the low, 
But I will reach Scotland before you." 

Why not let them fight it out like the Kilkenny cats? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, no! Remember you promised 
to help me ! 

MRS. BROWN. Well, which is the most dangerous? 
The anti for me, but a girl's taste may be different. 
Well, here I go. {She walks over to Mildred and the two 
men and addresses Mr. Van Tousel.) I think I went to 
school with a sister of yours, Mr. Van Tousel. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. {Sulky at being interrupted.) Very 
likely, Mrs. Brown. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 31 

MRS. BROWN. At Mrs. Read's, — Augusta Van 
Tousel. I think she must have been your sister. 
Van Tousel is such an uncommon name. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. {Becoming more interested.) There 
are only three in the telephone directory, my mother 
and myself and a cousin of my father's. There is 
another family that spell the name T-o-u-s-l-e 
instead of e-1; but I do not know anything about 
them. 

MRS. BROWN. Your sistcr has married, has she not? 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Yes, she married a German and 
lives in Berlin. She is not interested in "the cause, " 
I regret to say. 

MRS. BROWN. She was very much interested in 
American History when she was in school, probably 
because she had so many ancestors who helped to 
make it. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Yes, we are descended from three 
Colonial Governors, two Signers of the Declaration of 
Independence, and six Generals. 

MRS. BROWN. Dear me, and now you are keeping 
up the traditions of your family by taking part in this 
live issue of the day — Woman Suffrage. Do come 
over to the sofa, Mr. Van Tousel, and tell me all about 
your sister. It is so long since I have seen her. {They 
walk over to sofa and sit down conversing.) 

MR. BECKER. Have you known Mr. Van Foolsel a 
long time. Miss Tilsbury? 

MILDRED. Van Tousel! Mr. Becker, not Van 
Foolsel! 

MR. BECKER. I beg his pardon, but a man like that 
gets on my nerves. He is n't willing to do a man's 



32 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

work in the world and so he approves of women's 
going out of the home and working instead. If I 
should marry, I would want to take care of my wife 
and not let her take care of me. Don't you think 
that is the right spirit, Miss Tilsbury? 

MILDRED. A woman does n't like to sit around 
idle, Mr. Becker. 

MR. BECKER. Certainly not, but no woman need 
ever be idle. She has her housekeeping, her children, 
her friends, her charities, books to read, and plays to 
see. I only wish that I could command my time as a 
woman can do, but I have to work. 

MILDRED. Don't you like to work? 

MR. BECKER. Yes, but Sometimes I wish I could 
set my clients to work instead. They go to Europe 
and I stay at home to attend to their affairs. Sometime 
or other, I hope to go to Europe and leave my clients 
at home to attend to their own business. I would n't 
want to go alone though, it would be too lonesome. 
I shall wait until I am married. 

MILDRED. Will that be soon? 

MR. BECKER. I hope SO, unless women become 
voters and vote to abolish matrimony. 

MILDRED. I don't believe there will be any danger 
of that. 

MR. BECKER. I don't know. You can't tell what 
a mob of women will do when they get started. 
Look at the way they behave at bargain counters, 
and at the excesses of the women in the French 
Revolution. 

MILDRED. I should not think you would want to 
marry if you feel that way about women. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 33 

MR. BECKER. I am thinking of women in a crowd, 
not of exceptional individuals. 

MILDRED. Come and see the Parade to-morrow 
and you will think differently. Everything is to be 
as well ordered and dignified as possible. 

MR. BECKER. Are you going to march? 

MILDRED. Yes, indeed. 

MR. BECKER. Well, I will come, but I shall imagine 
you as walking up the aisle of a church as a bride. 
{They continue conversing in low tones.) 
{Enter Katy who goes over to Mrs. Tilshiiry.) 

KATY. Can I speak with you for a moment, ma'am? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. What is it, Katy? 

KATY. Helma says it is getting so late that she 
can't wait to dish up the dinner. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Helma can't wait to dish up the 
dinner? But Mr. Tilsbury has n't come in yet. Why 
can't she wait. Where is she going? 

KATY. She is going to speak at a meeting at eight 
o'clock. Here she is herself. She will explain it all 
to you. 

{Enter Helma.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. You are going to a meeting, 
Helma? 

HELMA. Yes, a meeting for the advancement of the 
cause of Woman Suffrage. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Can't you wait and go right after 
dinner? You need n't stop to wash the dishes. I 
don't see how you can go now. We are expecting 
Mr. Tilsbury every minute, and as soon as he comes we 
will go right into the dining-room and begin. 

HELMA. I can't wait another minute. I am down 



34 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

as first speaker on the programme, and the ladies would 
never forgive me if I was late. I am to speak on 
"How it feels to vote." I am the only lady in 
the Society who has ever voted, for in Norway 
the women are as good as men. No other member 
of the Society has had any experience and can speak 
instead of me. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. But, Helma, what will we do about 
our dinner? I will give you two dollars if you will 
stay and serve the dinner. See, this nice new two- 
dollar bill? You shall have this. My guests are all 
here, and the dinner half cooked. Oh ! you must not 
go now. 

HELMA. I certainly must, Mrs. Tilsbury. I get 
five dollars for my talk. Tell Katy to cook the dinner. 

KATY. Indeed, and I will not, ma'am. It 's not 
my work. I would n't meddle with her dirty, Nor- 
wegian tricks. I won't stay in the same house with 
her any longer anyway. My young man says he will 
not marry me if I do. She drove him out of the 
kitchen only yesterday, sassing him about the boss of 
his district, and calling him a low-down Irish pig. She 
said she would never vote for a Democrat, but John 
says she will never vote for a Democrat or Republican 
either, so long as the Irish rule New York. 

HELMA. Seeing him would win me over to the 
Prohibition party. 

KATY. Is it trjang to be funny, you are Helma? 
No, John says that women will neither vote nor smoke 
in the State of Greater New York, so long as the green 
grass and golden harp in the hand are worth all the 
stars and striped rainbows in the heavens. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 35 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Katy, you shall have the two 
dollars if you will serve up the dinner. It must be 
almost cooked, so it won't be much work, and then you 
and John can use the money for two tickets and go 
to some nice play together to-morrow evening. 

KATY. John's not the boy for that, Mrs. Tilsbury. 
He would n't take a girl's hard-earned money before 
he was married to her. I am going to leave anyway 
now that Miss Mildred is being so talked about for her 
views on votes for women. He says that the only 
difference between men and women now is that men 
smoke and vote and women don't, and that to marry 
a girl who did both would be like having another man 
about the house. He says he has his doubts about 
taking a girl to wife out of this house. 

HELMA. You never saw me smoke but once, Katy 
Flanigan. I took an old stale cigarette out of a box 
Mr. Tilsbury had thrown away. I won't stay here to 
be talked to like this no longer. {Goes out noisily ») 

MRS. TILSBURY. Does Helma really smoke. 

KATY. Indeed yes, ma 'am. Was n't Mr. Tilsbury 
after noticing last night how fast his cigar box had 
emptied? 

MRS. TILSBURY. How dreadful; but now that she 
has gone, do serve the dinner and I will make it 
good to you. 

{Kitchen hell rings.) 

KATY. I can*t indeed, ma'am. There 's John now. 
The Union would never let him marry a girl that did 
extra work that was n't her own trade. {Katy goes 
out hurriedly and almost knocks into Mr. Tilsbury who 
is coming in.) 



36 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MR. TiLSBURY. What 's the trouble about, Jose- 
phine? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, George, What has made you 
so late? Helma would n't wait any longer to cook 
the dinner because she has an engagement to speak 
at a Woman Suffrage meeting and Katy won't do it 
because she does n't want to vote and she and Helma 
have quarrelled about Katy's beau. Everybody is 
here waiting for dinner and I don't know what I shall 
do. Why did n't you come sooner? 

MR. TILSBURY. I Stopped in at the Club for a 
minute and the fellows persuaded me to make a 
fourth at Bridge. It seemed kind of mean not to 
when the three were just sitting there with nothing to 
do. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Ycs, but there were five of us 
waiting for you here at home and now there is no 
dinner. It 's all your fault, so it 's up to you to suggest 
something. I have done my best. 

MR. TILSBURY. Well, I guess we had better adjourn 
to a restaurant. Goes forward to greet the others.) How 
do you do, Mrs. Brown. Hello, Van Tousel; glad to 
see you Becker. It seems a domestic tragedy has 
just occurred. Mrs. Tilsbury tells me that the cause 
of Woman Suffrage is being fought out in our kitchen. 
It seems rather a small floor for the solution of a world 
problem, but the cook, who is a Norwegian and a 
suffragette, has hurried out to speak for the cause, and 
the waitress, who is an anti, refuses to come to the 
rescue. I think we had better let them fight it out and 
go to Sherry's for dinner where cooks and waiters are 
all voters. {Goes out to dress.) 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 37 

MRS. BROWN. What shall I do with Cochon? Do 
you suppose I could take him in with me at Sherry's 
or had I better leave him here? 

MRS. TILSBURY. I don't know whether it would be 
wise to leave him here. The Irish are so sensitive 
on the subject of pigs. Suppose we leave him at your 
apartment as we go by. Come and put on your wrap 
again. 

{Mrs. Tilshury and Mrs. Brown go out.) 

MR. BECKER. Well, this is a fine example of what 
the enfranchisement of woman will lead to; to be 
driven out of one's home by political dissension in 
the kitchen. 

MILDRED. We believe in freedom for all women, 
Mr. Becker. One must be willing to put up with a 
little inconvenience for the sake of our convictions. 

MR. BECKER. And go to a restaurant while your 
own dinner at home is going to waste ? 

MILDRED. All food will be cooked in a central 
kitchen soon and sent around to different homes. 
Cooking will be done outside of the homes, just as 
dressmaking, baking, laundering, and lots of other 
things have been transferred into independent in- 
dustries. Women can no longer be slaves in the house. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. {Clapping his hands.) Splendid, 
splendid, Miss Mildred. I have often thought the 
same thing. 

{Re-enter Mrs. Tilshury and Mrs. Brown.) 

MR. BECKER. Well, I hope I won't live to see that 
day. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. You will have to take a position 
as a chef, Becker, and eat your own cooking. 



38 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MILDRED. Oh, Josephine, I have had such a splen- 
did idea. Let me go downstairs and finish cooking 
the dinner. 

MR. BECKER. Miss Tilsbury, I admire your spirit. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Why, Mildred, you are too tired 
after making that speech to do anything of the kind. 
Besides you know how hard it is to get your father 
to go to a restaurant for dinner. He always says he is 
afraid of ptomaine poisoning. It will be a great deal 
more fun to dine at Sherry's than to stay here. I am 
glad Helma has gone speechifying. Don't let your 
father hear your ridiculous suggestion. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, Mildred, do keep quiet. Think 
of the lights and the music and the women's dresses. 
It will be awfully amusing. Hurry and put on your 
cloak ! 

(Re-enter Mr. Tilsbury.) 

MR. TILSBURY. Are you all ready? I have tele- 
phoned for two taxi's. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, indeed. Hurray for Woman 
Suffrage ! This is the first time I have ever been in 
favor of it. 

MR. BECKER. The breaking-up of the American 
home, may it long be averted. 

(All go out. Curtain.) 



ACT II 

Scene i 

The scene is the same as in Act I. The room is empty 
when MILDRED enters with edward melvin. She 
is dressed in a short white serge dress with green 
sash and purple hand over the left shoulder, draped 
like the garter ribbon. Melvin carries a large 
white banner on which is painted in green and 
purple letters, ^'Daughters of the Danaides.'" 

MILDRED. {Half hysterical.) You have been so kind 
to me, I shall never forget it. I do not know what I 
should have done without your help. I thought I 
was going to faint right there in the street, and the 
crowd was jeering so. Then you suddenly appeared 
like a Lohengrin and seized the standard and assisted 
me down the side street. I could never have reached 
home if you had not hailed the taxicab and brought 
me back. I should have been afraid to take a street 
taxicab myself. One hears such awful stories about 
kidnapping. 

MR. MELVIN. Yet you were not afraid to go with 
me — a perfect stranger! 

MILDRED. I knew the Club on the corner out of 
which you ran, what nice men belong to it. Those in 

39 



40 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

the window were all joking you when you left them 
but you did n't care. You came and helped me in 
spite of everything. When you were beside me and 
I could see your eyes, I felt sure you were to be trusted. 
I did n't think anything more about it. 

MR. MELVIN. {Slightly embarrassed.) How heavy 
this banner is. They should not have given it to a 
child like you to carry. It would be a weighty burden 
for a man. 

MILDRED. I am not a child! It is this short skirt 
that makes me look like one. I am over eighteen 
years old. The members of the Society chose me as 
standard bearer because it is a great honor. They 
said that I had done so much for the cause both in 
contributions and personal service that it was my 
right to carry the banner. 

MR. MELVIN. So you contribute to the Campaign 
Funds. Well, that is an important thing to do, the 
most important perhaps. 

MILDRED. Oh, I did n't mean to give the impression 
that I have given so much. I really only give what I 
ought, because you see most of the members are 
factory girls and typewriters, self-supporting women 
who have all they can do to pay their monthly dues of 
ten cents. 

MR. MELVIN. (Reading from the banner.) "Daugh- 
ters of the Danaides." So that is the name of your 
society, is it? 

MILDRED. Yes. Mrs. Dunstan chose it. She is so 
clever and has read everything. She says it is an 
alliteration worthy of Henry James. 

MR. MELVIN. Do you know what the Danaides did? 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 41 

MILDRED. {Solemnly.) They murdered their hus- 
bands. 

MR. MELViN. Is that the purpose of your Society? 
Have you all vowed to murder your husbands? 

MILDRED. I don't think we shall any of us ever marry. 

MR. MELVIN. How about Mrs. Dunstan. 

MILDRED. Oh, she divorced hers. 

MR. MELVIN. Don't you think a man ought to be 
afraid of you when you belong to such a murderously 
named society? 

MILDRED. Mrs. Dunstan explained to us that ours 
was symbolic, that we must kill figuratively by de- 
stroying the peace of every man who does not believe 
in Woman Suffrage. 

MR. MELVIN. Are you going to begin by destroying 
mine? 

MILDRED. Don't you believe in Woman Suffrage? 

MR. MELVIN. Not for you. 

MILDRED. Why not for me? 

MR. MELVIN. Because you are too pretty. 

MILDRED. How ridiculous! What has looks to do 
with it? Homely men vote. 

MR. MELVIN. {Looking up at the painting.) Is that 
your mother's portrait? 

MILDRED. Yes, how did you know it? Everyone 
says I don't look a bit like her. 

MR. MELVIN. Your smile is the same. 

MILDRED. I wish the portrait were mine. 

MR. MELVIN. Isn't it? 

Mildred. No. My mother willed it to my father. 
She left everything else to me, but I would rather 
have had the portrait and not so much money. 



42 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MR. MELViN. Do you remember your mother? 

MILDRED. Yes. She only died six years ago. I 
often come down here in the evenings when my father 
and stepmother are out and curl up in that corner of 
the sofa and try to recall what she said to me when I 
was a little girl and to imagine how she would advise 
me now, when I am puzzled what to do. 

MR. MELVIN. Was shc a supporter of votes for 
women too? 

MILDRED. When mother was alive, Woman Suf- 
frage was not so prominent. Of course, there were 
societies and clubs but they were composed more of 
professional women, doctors, and lawyers. Society 
women had not taken it up and I don't suppose mother 
ever thought anything about the subject. 

MR. MELVIN. Wise woman. That is the best way 
to treat it. You would be much happier if you did n't 
think anything about it. 

MILDRED. But those poor girls, they have to 
struggle so hard to get a living. I must help them. 

MR. MELVIN. Helping them is a different proposi- 
tion, but would the vote help them so much at present? 

MILDRED. It is a great power. 

MR. MELVIN. So great a power that if your girls 
had the vote, there are plenty of people who would 
try to control it for them. Try to improve the ideals 
of your girls, in dress and in way of living. Try to 
bring about an improvement in the conditions of their 
work, but don't mix them up in politics. Not just 
yet anyway. 

MILDRED. Mrs, Thom says it is the only way. 

MR. MELVIN. Who is Mrs. Thom? 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 43 

MILDRED. She is one of our greatest leaders. 

MR. MELVIN. Did you ever wonder what your 
mother would have said to all this tomfoolery ? 
Don't you care more for your mother's opinion than 
for that of Mrs. Thom? 

MILDRED. Why do you call it tomfoolery? 

MR. MELVIN. Can you call it anything else? These 
parades and platform speeches, these huge badges and 
conspicuous standards? Daughters of the Danaides! 
Do you know what punishment was inflicted upon the 
Danaides? 

MILDRED. No. 

MR. MELVIN. They were condemned to carry water 
in a sieve. 

MILDRED. (After a slight pause.) You mean that 
my efforts in the cause of Woman Suffrage are futile? 
That I am trying to carry water in a sieve? 

MR. MELVIN. Are you getting any results? 

MILDRED. We increased our membership last year 
from two hundred to over a thousand. 

MR. MELVIN. Statistics. Have you gained any- 
thing? Made any real advance? Do you members 
really want to vote? 

MILDRED. How Can you talk to me in this way! 
There are a great many nice and clever women in our 
Society who believe in the enfranchisement of women 
sincerely, and would make any sacrifice to accomplish 
it. Look at my stepmother. She is naturally fond 
of art and fond of society, but she has neglected both 
to work in the cause. We are not trying to carry 
water in a sieve. 

MR. MELVIN. Forgive me. I did not mean to 



44 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

annoy you. You are so tired too. Run and lie 

down now, and forget all about women's rights and 

wrongs for a while. I am going to ask you to let me 

call again sometime and you shall try to convert me. 

Here is my card. Your father will know who I am. 

MILDRED. {Taking card.) Thank you. I do feel 

rather done up. Thank you again for seeing me home. 

(melvin leaves hy one door. Mildred goes over to the 

banner which he has left on a chair, rolls it up 

and puts it in a corner. Then she leaves the 

room hy the other door.) 

Scene 2 

Enter MRS. tilsbury, mrs. brown, mr. becker, and 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Well, the parade is over, thank 
goodness. Now we four will have a nice little game 
of Auction. Half a cent a point, no more. What do 
you say, Imogene? 

MRS. BROWN. I don't know whether I dare. I 
have been losing so all the week. I don't half believe 
in playing for money, Josephine. Our Rector gave 
us such a touching sermon about it last week I almost 
cried in church. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Oh, come along, Mrs. Brown, be 
a sport. Probably you will win to-day. I always 
find myself even at the end of the year when I play 
often enough. 

MR. BECKER. Ycs, onc's gains and losses generally 
balance in the long run. We can't play auction with- 



WOMEN FOR VOTES . 45 

out having a little something at stake. It makes one 
careless in one's game. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, I will play one rubber at half 
a cent a point, and if I win I will play another, but 
where shall I put Cochon? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Here, give him to me. I *11 put 
him in the wood-box. It has not been filled as usual. 

MRS. BROWN. But it is SO hard. Put this sofa- 
cushion in first. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Stop that is my best sofa-cushion. 
Here, I '11 put your muff under. It is so big and soft, 
it will fill it up nicely. 

MRS. BROWN. No, he can't have that, it is my new 
muff. Perhaps he won't find the wooden boards so 
hard after all, he is growing pretty fat. Did '00 mind 
the bare boards, dearie? Will '00 be comfy in the wood- 
box? Oh, did I tell you the experience I had yesterday 
in regard to him? A well-dressed woman stopped me 
in the street and showed me a badge of the S.P.C.A. 
She said that she lived across the street from me and 
had often noticed my little dog. She wished to tell 
me that he was out of proportion across the haunches, 
probably because I did not feed him properly, and 
that unless I gave the matter my immediate attention 
and changed his diet, she would have me arrested for 
maltreating an animal. She went on to say that she 
had often tried to get a photograph of the dog to 
present as an exhibit to the society, but that I never 
seemed to take him out in the daytime, which was 
another example of my cruelty to him. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Did you ever! What are we 
coming to? What did you say to her? 



46 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MR. BECKER. Just as I said, Mrs. Brown. You 
women are determined to break the laws. You seem 
to think that laws are made only to be broken. 

MRS. TILSBURY. 

The men of New York take pleasure in making 
Laws that the women take pleasure in breaking. 

Do tell us, Imogene, what answer did you make to 
that impertinent woman? 

MRS. BROWN. I told her to mind her own business. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Excellent. 

MRS. TILSBURY. What did she say to that? 

MRS. BROWN. She said she was minding her own 
business but that she was going to mind it still better, 
as I should soon find out. I am afraid I shall be forced 
to move. 

MR. BECKER. Or to givc up Cochon. 

MRS. BROWN. Give up Cochon! Why, Mr. Becker, 
I love Cochon just as much as though he were a dog, 
and do you know what sacrifices women make for the 
sake of their dogs? There is Mrs. Davenant for in- 
stance. She received a perfectly wonderful invitation 
to visit some people of title in England and because 
she could not take her little chow dog Peeksie with her 
unless she was separated from him for two weeks while 
he was shut up in that odious Quarantine, she refused 
the invitation. She said she had never been away 
from Peeksie for a night since she had first bought him 
two years ago. She wrote to the Port authorities and 
offered to go to the Quarantine with Peeksie, but they 
replied that there was no room for her, that the largest 
pen was three feet by five for a St. Bernard. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 47 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I hope Mrs. Davenant took that 
for a reflection on her size. She is really growing 
enormous. She ought to roll more. 

MR. BECKER. Does Mr. Davenant like to have 
that dog around his room all night ? 

MRS. BROWN. No, he and Mrs. Davenant have 
been occupying different rooms ever since Peeksie 
came. Mr. Davenant got up once in the dark and 
kicked her. 

ALL. Kicked Mrs. Davenant ! 

MRS. BROWN. No, Pecksie! He said it was by 
mistake but Mrs. Davenant was never quite sure that 
it was. 

(MRS. TILSBURY goes to comer of room and 
arranges table.) 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. That S.P.C.A. is a worthy society 
although the zeal of one member seems to have been 
misdirected in your case, Mrs. Brown. My mother is 
vice-president of one of its branches. 

MRS. BROWN. Your mother seems to be vice-presi- 
dent in a good many societies, Mr. Van Tousel. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Ycs, in sixty-thrcc. 

MRS. BROWN. Any Suffragists' Society? 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. No. I regret to say my mother is 
an anti-suffragist. She says she has no time to vote. 
She calls herself an old-fashioned woman. 

MR. BECKER. I should like to meet your mother, 
Van Tousel. 

MRS. BROWN. So should I. 

MR. BECKER. To try and make a Suffragist of 
her, I suppose. You women are all natural prosely- 
tizers. 



48 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. BROWN. No, indeed. I should like to meet 
Mrs. Van Tousel because she is an old-fashioned 
woman. I am an old-fashioned woman and like seeks 
like. 

MR. BECKER. You an old-fashioned woman? How 
absurd ! How about your Bridge playing? 

MRS. BROWN. I only do that to please my friends. 
Old-fashioned women were brought up to study how 
to please. 

MR. BECKER. And Cochon, there, does n't he make 
you up-to-date? 

MRS. BROWN. He is a domestic animal, a barn yard 
animal, and all old-fashioned women used to busy 
themselves about barnyard animals. I remember 
when I was a little girl, I used to go with my grand- 
mother on the farm every morning to see the pigs fed. 
It is only lately, Mr. Becker, that the hog business 
has been incorporated and taken away from the list 
of home activities. Women's work used to be in the 
home, but now they are driven out to work in factories 
and offices. Women used to be guardians of the 
hearth like the Vestal Virgins, but now they are driven 
out into the world to earn money to pay for the gas 
that the gas stove consumes. Instead of the "eternal 
flame," we have the intermittent gas jet. My cook 
tries to make it eternal though, she always forgets to 
turn it off. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Bravo, Mrs. Brown. We shall 
soon have you on the platform making speeches. 

MRS. BROWN. Not on your life. I was only trying 
to point out the changes in the times to Mr. Becker. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {Returning.) How shall we play? 



WOMEN FOR VOTEvS 49 

You and Mr. Van Tousel, Imogene, and Mr. Becker 
and I? 

MR. BECKER. We should cut for partners. You 
women never have a sense of fair play. 

MRS. BROWN. Is Cutting the cards fair play, Mr. 
Becker? I thought it was chance. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I thought we would begin that 
way and pivot afterwards. 

MR. BECKER. It is always better to begin fairly. 
We may not have time for more than one rubber. 
{They cut for partners.) 

MRS. BROWN. Well, you and I seem to be partners, 
Josephine. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Oh, that won't do. The ladies 
against the gentlemen. 

MR. BECKER. It is quite appropriate for the ending 
of to-day. Sex against sex. It is your deal, Mrs. 
Tilsbury.? shall I makeup the cards? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh, dear, the points of these pen- 
cils are all broken. Will some one sharpen them? 

MR. BECKER. That means you and me, Van Tousel. 
I have never seen a woman who could sharpen a 
pencil. 

MRS. BROWN. It is Certainly much nicer to have 
some one else to do it. Sharpening pencils is such 
dirty work. {The men sharpen the pencils while the 
women look on.) 

MRS. BROWN. Did you ever see anything so funny 
as that parade anyway? There was n't a decently 
dressed woman in the whole crowd nor a good-looking 
one either — {suddenly remembering where she is) — 
except Mildred. 



50 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. TILSBURY. Those women with the sandwich 
boards with "Votes for Women" painted on them 
were as shapeless as the boards. 

MRS. BROWN. The United Home Helpers Union 
seemed to me to have the most style. 

MRS. TILSBURY, That is because most of them are 
domestic servants, and they were wearing their 
mistresses' old clothes or new ones. My cook asked 
me to give her my second-best tailor-made suit and I 
did not dare to refuse for fear she would leave before my 
dinner-party next week. I am sure she will go imme- 
diately after. I hated to give it to her for it was in 
very good condition. Now, I have nothing but my 
best one to wear in the mornings. 

MRS. BROWN. I would n't mind that. Gwendolen 
Jones had one exactly like it except it is gray instead of 
heliotrope. If you wear yours in the morning, she 
can hardly go on wearing hers to Bridge parties in the 
afternoons as if it were something dressy. She will 
be furious with you, for she will be compelled to get 
something new at last. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Gwendolen was n't in the parade, 
was she? 

MRS. BROWN. No, not One of what the newspapers 
call the society women marched. They seemed to 
lack the courage of their convictions. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Perhaps they were afraid of 
making themselves conspicuous. 

MRS. BROWN. They have been making themselves 
notorious in the newspapers lately. 

MR. BECKER. That is a very different thing. If 
they marched in the street every one would see them 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 51 

as they are, but if described in the newspapers they 
appear flatteringly represented by flattered reporters. 

MRS. BROWN. The men who marched looked awfully 
shamefaced. Most of them looked like tramps at 
one dollar per head from the way they walked. Why 
did n't you march, Mr. Van Tousel? 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. I felt it my duty to act as escort 
to you ladies. 

MRS. BROWN. I would n*t dare ask you why you 
didn't march, Mr. Becker. You might scalp me 
instead of the pencil. Did any of you notice the 
girl who carried the banner in the Confederation of 
Lady Milliners. She reeled about as if she were dizzy. 
(Sees banner in the corner.) Oh, there is Mildred's 
banner against the wall. I can show you how she did 
it. {Picks up banner and staggers across the room with 
it.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Is that Mildred's banner? Why 
the child must have come back. Nothing could 
separate her from her banner. I hope she was not 
taken ill. She looked quite well when she passed us. 
I did not suppose she would be back for two hours. I 
thought we would have plenty of time for our game. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Does fi't Miss Tilsbury allow you 
to play bridge? 

MRS. TILSBURY. She does n't quite approve of it. 
She is so serious minded, dear child, she looks upon it 
as frivolous. 

MR. BECKER. As the child is inclined, the parent is 
bent. 

(Enter mrs. thom, and Miss slavinsky, her arm 
in a sling.) 



52 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

KATY. (Announcing.) Mrs. Mary Henrietta Thorn, 
Miss Sophie Slavinsky. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I am SO pleased to see you, Mrs. 
Thorn. Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Thorn, Mr. Becker, Mr. 
Van Tousel. How do you do. Miss Slavinsky. 
You have met every one here before, I think. 

SOPHIE. That *s the ticket. How do you do, 
everybody? 

MRS. THOM. (Turning to everyone.) I came in, Mrs. 
Tilsbury, to inquire about Mildred. I have been so 
anxious about her. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Then Mildred is at home? We just 
now saw her banner standing in the corner and I was 
going to ask if she had returned. I felt sure that she 
and her standard could not be far apart. 

MRS. THOM. She is most loyal to her beliefs. I am 
anxious to hear that she is safely back. Miss Slavin- 
sky is a Daughter of the Danaides and she ran forward 
at one of the halts 

MRS. BROWN. (Aside to MR. BECKER.) At which 
halt? It seemed to me to be a very halting procession. 

MRS. THOM. — and she told me that Mildred had 
fainted and been carried off by a strange man in a 
taxicab. 

ALL. What! 

MRS. THOM. One hears such frightful stories about 
men enticing girls into taxicabs that I was much 
alarmed naturally and hurried here at once, meaning 
to give an alarm to the Police Station if she should not 
have returned. 

M RS . B RO WN . (A side . ) She wanted an excuse to get 
out of the procession. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 53 

MRS. TiLSBURY. It was probably some man she 
knew, Mrs. Thorn. Mildred would never go in a 
taxicab with a stranger. 

SOPHIE. {Who has been making eyes at MR. van 
TOUSEL, interrupts excitedly.) No, Mrs. Tilsbury, she 
did not know him. I heard him say, "Although you 
have never seen me before, will you trust yourself to 
me.'^" It was most romantic. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Why did n't you stop her? 

SOPHIE. What could I do. The order came at 
that instant, forward, march. I had to obey. 

MRS. TILSBURY. You might have jumped into the 
taxicab with her. 

Sophie. Then we might both have been destroyed. 
No, I stayed safe to protect her and took the number 
of the cab — 2961. 

MRS. THOM. See what mental training does for a 
woman. Miss Slavinsky is a business woman. She 
has learned to control her emotions and to use her 
judgment. Instead of madly jumping into the cab 
after Mildred as Mrs. Tilsbury suggests, she very 
wisely made a note in her mind of the number so that 
the cab could be traced. 

MRS. BROWN. Suppose shc has made a mistake in 
the number and that we trace the wrong cab? I very 
often think that I can remember a telephone number, 
and that I won't take the trouble to look it up in that 
difficult telephone directory. So I give the number to 
Central and some one I don't know at all answers the 
call. I don't let on to Central, however. I look up 
the right number and repeat it to her and scold her 
for having given me the wrong one in the first place, 



54 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

but it all takes a lot more time than if I had not 
depended upon my memory for numbers. 

MRS. THOM. Miss Slavinsky's profession as an 
usheress in a theatre trains her memory for numbers. 
She has to remember the number of the seats. 

SOPHIE. Mr. Becker does not agree with you, Mrs. 
Thorn. 

MR. BECKER. Your memory is only too good, Miss 
Slavinsky. 

MRS. THOM. Here we are talking when we are not 
yet sure whether Mildred is in the house or not. That 
may be another banner of the Daughters of the Dan- 
aides or that man may have sent it here to get it out 
of his way so that he might not be traced by its 
presence. The motto of the D. D.'s is, Savoir et faire, 
— "To know and to do." Mrs. Tilsbury, will you 
ascertain if your step-daughter is in the house or 
not, so that we may act accordingly. 

MRS. BROWN. {To the men,) Savoir et faire — what a 
difference that little word " et " makes? 

MRS. TILSBURY. I will go and see. {Goes out.) 

MRS. THOM. I hope that both of you gentlemen are 
supporters of the cause. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. {Blithely.) I am. 

SOPHIE. Mr. Van Tousel is a hero, Mrs. Thorn. 

MRS. THOM. Have you signed the petition? 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. {Blankly.) What petition? 

MRS. THOM. The petition to the Legislature of the 
State asking them to enfranchise the enslaved part 
of its population. You evidently have not signed it 
or you would know, I suppose — or are you one of those 
gentlemen of leisure who leave all their thinking and 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 55 

acting to their secretaries? Here. {Takes roll of 
paper out of her pocket.) You might as well sign it 
now. Is there pen and ink in that desk over there or 
is it a purely ornamental piece of furniture? 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. {Meekly taking the paper and 
going over to the desk with it,) Where shall I sign it, 
Mrs. Thom? 

MRS. THOM. Right there under the last one. You 
have not forgotten how to sign your name, I suppose. 
Even people living on an unearned income are obliged 
to endorse their dividend checks, I believe. 

MR. BECKER. Unlcss their investments are in 
bonds and then they only need a pair of scissors. In 
that case, the shears is mightier than the pen. 

MRS. BROWN. {Aside to MR. BECKER.) Is MrS. 

Thom a socialist, Mr. Becker? 

MR. BECKER. It looks like it. You believe in 
universal brotherhood, I presume, Mrs. Thom? 

MRS. THOM. If it includes the sisterhood also, 
Mr. Becker. {To MR. van tousel.) Ah, that is 
right. Think how pleased your mother will be. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. My mother does n't believe in the 
enfranchisement of women, Mrs. Thom. She is 
Vice-President of the Women's Anti-Suffrage League. 

MRS. THOM. Your mother does n't believe in the 
enfranchisement of women ! She is a disgrace to her 
sex. It is 'the women who, coddled in the lap of 
luxury, are unwilling to turn out from their ennervat- 
ing seraglios to do an honest day's work for the hard- 
working women and girls of the People who do the 
most damage to the cause! It is they whom tricky 
politicians make use of when they say that they would 



56 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

give their support to the enfranchisement of our sex 
if they thought that the majority of women really 
wanted to vote. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. But my mother does n*t live 
in a seraglio, Mrs. Thom. 

MRS. THOM. Oh, I know, they don^t call it by that 
name in polite society because here in New York the 
rule is, different wives, different roofs, and one is not 
supposed to know of the existence of the other. One 
lives in a brown stone Fifth Avenue mansion, and 
another in a Harlem flat. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. But, Mrs. Thom, my mother is 
a widow. 

MRS. THOM. Then she should be on our subscrip- 
tion list. She can't give the excuse that her husband 
does not approve of it. I will call and see her. 
{Takes out notebook and writes in it.) Now, Mr. 
Becker, please, directly below Mr. Van Tousel. 

MRS. BROWN. {Aside.) She talks like a dencist. 

MR. BECKER. I will not Sign the petition, Mrs. 
Thom. I do not want women to have the vote. 

MRS. THOM. You don't believe in "the cause"! 

MR. BECKER. I do uot Consider it a cause. 

MRS. THOM. Oh, you are one of those men who try 
to raise themselves by keeping women down. You 
are a dog in the manger, who never has and never will 
do any good for your country, yourself, and who tries 
to keep others from being patriotic. The vote of 
women means the purification of the government. 
Well, we don't want your signature. It will never 
represent anything. {Rolls up petition and puts in her 
pocket.) 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 57 

SOPHIE. How did you enjoy the play the other 
night, Mr. Van Tousel? Did I not usher you in 
beautifully? Don't you think women ushers beat the 
men? 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. You Were certainly very atten- 
tive, Miss Slavinsky, 

SOPHIE. Come again, Mr. Van Tousel, and let 
me usher you again to your seat. It is nice to care 
for a real gentleman who neither jollies one nor finds 
faults about trifles. Remember the centre aisle. 

{Re-enter mrs. tilsbury.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Mildred is back. She is com- 
pletely exhausted and is lying down. It seems she 
found the banner too heavy for her. A strange man 
did see her home. Here is his card: "Mr. Edward 
Melvin, Harmony Club." 

MRS. THOM. What a narrow escape for her. 

SOPHIE. We might never have heard of her again. 

MRS. BROWN. You forget your number, Miss 
Slavinsky. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I cannot think what got into 
Mildred. She is usually so diffident with strangers. 
She wants to see you, Mrs. Thom; you too. Miss 
Slavinksy. Will you come up to her room? {She 
starts to leave the room hut is stopped by van tousel.) 

MR. VAN tousel. One moment, Mrs. Tilsbury. 
I am afraid I cannot stay any longer. We have an 
early dinner to-night, because my mother is to preside 
at a meeting of the X.Y.Z. The President is ill, 
and she as Vice-President must be there on time. I 
promised to be home promptly. Let me thank you 
for a delightful afternoon. To see a noble army of 



58 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

martyrs — of women I mean, marching through the 
street in thinly clad delicate feet, bearing heavy 
banners for the sake of freedom, is an inspiring sight. 
It should make every man stop and think how much 
he owes to that other sex which we are accustomed to 
look upon as less enduring than our own. 

SOPHIE. Mr. Van Tousel, you give me thrills. 

MRS. THOM. Mr. Van Tousel, it is a pleasure to 
have met you. 

MR. BECKER. {To MRS. BROWN.) Having signed the 
petition and thereby sold his birthright for a mess of 
pottage, he is bound to tell every one how good it is 
and how much he likes pottage. I admire his obstin- 
acy. 

SOPHIE. I must go too. I forgot I have an engage- 
ment, Mrs. Thom. Give my love to Mildred. I will 
come and see her to-morrow. Will you be so kind as to 
put me in a car, Mr. Van Tousel, at the corner please. 
The cops are so rough to a poorly dressed working girl 
who is out alone after dark. They say, "I will run 
you in if I catch you again." Good-night, Mrs. 
Tilsbury, Good-night, Mrs. Brown. Good-night, 
Mr. Woman Hater. 

MRS. THOM. Good-night, Sophie. I know the way 
to Mildred's room, Mrs. Tilsbury. You need not 
leave your friends. {Goes out.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Good-uight, Mr. Van Tousel. I 
am sorry that you must go so soon and that we shall 
not have our little game. I hope it is only postponed 
however, (mrs. tilsbury shakes hands with MR. van 
TOUSEL, who goes out, followed by sophie.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Excusc me a moment. I will be 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 59 

right back. I don't want Mrs. Thorn to excite 
Mildred. 

MRS. BROWN. Wait, and tell us something about 
Mrs. Thorn. 

MR. BECKER. The lady seems to know her way 
about. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Don't you know who she is ? Why 
she is one of the most important fighters for "the 
cause. ' ' Don't you remember the lawsuit she brought 
last year against the bootblack at the entrance to the 
Brooklyn Bridge? She wanted to sit up in his chair 
and have her boots blackened during the rush hours 
and the boy objected and said it was n't customary. 
They got into a dispute while a whole line of men were 
kept waiting. Finally the bootblack became angry 
and declared he would not do it and that he had not 
the facilities for blackening ladies' boots. She said 
that she did n't wear ladies' boots and he replied that 
"of course, since she was n't a lady, she could n't wear 
ladies' boots, but he *d be darned if he would touch 
her old footgear anyway." The newspapers were 
full of the case. I wonder you did not read about it, 
but I suppose you were not interested. Mildred read 
it aloud to me because she is a friend of Mrs. Thom. 

MRS. BROWN. Did Mrs. Thom bring an action 
against the bootblack? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, she claimed that blackening 
boots is a public utility service and that a bootblack 
stand in the street occupies public property and should 
be open to all taxpayers, men or women. The boy 
retaliated by demanding damages for his loss of 
patronage while he and Mrs. Thom were fighting it 



6o WOMEN FOR VOTES 

out. He said it was more difficult to please women 
than men and that he did n't want women clients, 
that the women would be setting up boot stands next 
and taking all the trade away from the men just as 
they were trying to do in the newspaper selling. The 
Anti's took up the controversy and said it was im- 
proper for women to have their boots backened in 
public because they were obliged to lift their skirts 
too high. I can't stay any longer. Mrs. Thom will 
have talked Mildred out of her last cent. 

MRS. BROWN. Tell us first, which won out, Mrs. 
Thom or the bootblack? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Can you ask, having met Mrs. 
Thom? {She goes out.) 

MRS. BROWN. Mr. Becker, it seems to me that you 
and I are the only two people around here who have 
any sense left. I can see that you believe in the old- 
fashioned doctrine that the man should go out into 
the world to make his fame and fortune and that the 
woman should try to make a happy home to which he 
may return. That is my doctrine also. 

MR. BECKER. "Man for the field and woman for 
the hearth. " 

MRS. BROWN. Exactly. How concisely expressed. 
Is that original, Mr. Becker? 

MR. BECKER. No. It is from Tennyson's Prin- 
cess. 

MRS. BROWN. You are so clever. You know every- 
thing. I could n't help but admire the way you 
answered Mrs. Thom. Why do women make such 
fools of themselves? They can never be so clever as 
men. Why do they try to be? 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 6i 

MR. BECKER. My dear Mrs. Brown, I cannot tell 
you what pleasure it has given me to have met you 
to-day, to come across one sensible, well balanced 
woman in this crowd of neurotic, hysterical feminists. 
Women are making the great mistake nowadays of 
thinking of themselves as a separate class instead of 
as a sex, that half of humanity which, keeping within 
its hemisphere of duties and responsibilities, makes the 
completion and perfection of the whole. The feminine 
sex is like — like a tire on the wheel of an automobile. 
The tire is of no use without the revolving power 
imparted by the engine to the wheel, and then it is 
the means of furnishing a smooth motion to the 
car and of preventing jars and dislocations of the 
machinery. This has always been woman's true 
function, the elimination of the jolts of life so that 
men's more aggressive activities may proceed gently 
on. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, Mr. Becker. What a charming 
expression and how original — women's hemisphere. 
I have always rather resented the expression woman's 
sphere — as if women had no share in the human 
interest but were apart by themselves. But women's 
hemisphere ! Why it reminds me of a cotillion figure 
where one goes around to find the holder of the other 
half of a favor. It is like clasping hands. Do let us 
shake hands on that expression, Mr. Becker. {They 
shake hands warmly.) 

MR. BECKER. Ycs, womcn seem to be losing sight 
of the fact that their interests are identical with those 
of men, that, therefore, they are represented now, and 
that to vote themselves would only mean sex antagon- 



62 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

ism and an increased multiplicity of our already too 
numerous ballots. 

MRS. BROWN. What is that smell of scorching? 
Oh, Mr. Becker, I am afraid it is Cochon in the 
wood-box. It was too near the fire. Oh, take him 
away, quick! 

MR. BECKER. {Lifting pig out of the wood-box.) It is 
only his blanket that is slightly scorched. Your pet 
seems to be all right, Mrs. Brown. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, my dear little piggy-wiggy. 
Did his muzzer forget all about her owny-tony, while 
she was talking about those horrid women's rights? 
It was a shame, so it was. {Takes off blanket.) No, 
he is not hurt at all. How fortunate ! 

MR. BECKER. You do not admire Lamb's Essay 
on Roast Pig, I take it, Mrs. Brown? 

MRS. BROWN. An Essay on Roast Pig? What a 
subject. Is it a cook-book? 

MR. BECKER. No, but a Very appetizing article. 
If you should read it, Mrs. Brown, you would regret 
that you remembered your pet so soon. I will send 
you a copy of the essay. 

MRS. BROWN. How cruel you are, Mr. Becker. I 
was just going to ask you to call, but now I do not 
know whether it would be kind to Cochon, 

MR. BECKER. I will Call and bring the book with 
me. We think alike about roasting Woman Suffrage, 
why not the same about roasting pigs? 

MRS. BROWN. When you see Cochon in his dear 
little basket with its blue lining perhaps you will 
think differently and prefer roast chicken. 

MR. BECKER. We will See. I must go now. I 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 63 

hear Mrs. Thorn coming down-stairs and I do not 
want to see her again. 

MRS. BROWN. You are afraid of a woman after all. 
You have been saying that they make life easy like 
a tire on an automobile. 

MR. BECKER. You know what happens when a 
tire breaks. Mrs. Thom is a broken tire and I can 
hear the gas rapidly escaping now. Good-bye, 
good-bye. Make my excuses to Mrs. Tilsbury, 
please. I shall bring the book very soon. (Mr. 
BECKER goes out hurriedly by one door as MRS. thom 
and MRS. TILSBURY enter by the other, 

MRS. THOM. Dear child, how generous she Is. 
Always wanting to give to "the cause." I forgot 
to ask her to make out that check to my order, 
because our treasurer has just resigned. She had a 
disagreement with an auditor about the way she kept 
the books and we have not had time to elect another. 
Will you tell Mildred, please? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, I '11 tell her. The check to 
your order as President of the Association. 

MRS. THOM. Now, Mrs. Brown, I hope you are 
going to give up fondling that dirty little pig and show 
yourself to be a true woman, loyal to the cause of 
freedom. There is a vacancy in the Daughters of the 
Danaides — for we keep strictly to a limited number 
in our sub-societies. I will propose you, Miss Tils- 
bury will second you, and there you are. The dues 
are ten cents a month, but of course each member 
is expected to contribute according to her means. If 
you should sell that nicely fattened pig to a butcher, 
you could give us a tidy little sum without feeling it. 



64 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. BROWN. Mrs. Thom, Cochon has just es- 
caped a terrible death from the flames. He shall not 
be handed over to the sword. He shall not be made a 
victim to the modern woman's propensity to desert 
the home and children, to philander around after 
responsibilities for which she is unfitted by nature. 
As Mr. Becker just quoted so beautifully, "Man for 
the field and woman for the hearth. " 

MRS. THOM. Well, it 's the baseball field and golf 
field then, I guess. As for the hearth, give me steam 
heat — it's cleaner and has more go to it. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Why, where is Mr. Becker? 

MRS. BROWN. He has gone home or to his Club. 
I think that he has had all of women's rights that he 
can stand for one afternoon. If you make enemies of 
all the men who have the power to grant the vote to 
women, Mrs. Thom, how are you going to obtain it? 
Get what you want first and fight the men afterwards, 
that would be my advice. I always followed that 
method with Mr. Brown. 

MRS. THOM. You Were consistent to the end. You 
got what you wanted when your husband died, and 
you fought his will afterwards. Well, we don't follow 
the methods of the so-called feminine women in 
putting forward the cause. We don't wheedle for 
our rights. We demand them. 

MRS. BROWN. But if you can't enforce your de- 
mands, what do you do then? 

MRS. THOM. We will follow the example of the 
Roman women who, when unjust laws were enacted 
restricting the cost of their wearing apparel and 
jewelry, withdrew to the hill outside of the city, and 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 65 

stayed away from Rome until the men yielded and 
let them wear what they chose. 

MRS. TILSBURY. If the men won't give us the vote, 
we women will all go to Paris and stay there until they 
grant it. How lovely! 

MRS. BROWN. What will you live on in Paris if the 
men refuse to send funds? The bankers are all men 
still, my dear. 

MRS. THOM. It shows that you have not seriously 
studied the subject, Mrs. Brown, or you would not 
make such foolish remarks. There is nothing to 
prevent women from becoming bankers. 

MRS. BROWN. Except that they have n't the gold. 

MRS. THOM. They can melt their jewelry. It 
would be better than wearing it like a bought Circas- 
sian slave. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, I think that when all the other 
women go to Paris, I shall stay in New York. It 
would be rather nice to be the only woman in New 
York with all the bankers. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Don't think you will be the only 
one to have that bright thought, Imogene; you will 
probably find plenty of other women staying behind 
to keep you company. 

MRS. THOM. I regret to say it, Mrs. Brown, but 
women like you are the drag on the wheel of progress. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, that is better than to be a 
broken tire, Mrs. Thom; the wheels stop altogether 
then. 

MRS. THOM. A broken tire? I do not understand 
what you are trying to say. 

MRS. BROWN. Why, Mr. Becker says 



66 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. THOM. I am not interested in what Mr. 
Becker says. Women who act as phonographs for 
men are not in my line. Good-bye, Mrs. Tilsbury. 
I will come in to see Mildred in a day or two. Don't 
forget about the check, please. To my order, Mary 
Henrietta Thom. 

MRS. TILSBURY. As President of the Association. 

MRS. THOM. If there is room. It is n't necessary. 
(MRS. THOM goes out, howifig stiffly to Mrs, Brown.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh dear, she has made Mildred 
give a larger sum than ever before. I don't know 
what to do — it is a perfect shame. 

MRS. BROWN. Start Mildred on something else. 
You have had enough of women's rights. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, but everything costs. All 
the "causes" are expensive. It doesn't make any 
difference whether they are charitable, socialistic, 
political, or artistic, they are all in need of funds. 
So many appeals come every day that I have been 
obliged to buy a bigger scrap-basket and the ash-man 
has raised his price. He says old paper is of no use to 
him unless we have a currency reform. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, a husband would be more 
expensive still. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, to support a husband in a 
style he has not been accustomed to is very expensive. 
Poor Mildred, I don't see what I shall do. 

MRS. BROWN. I hope you admired the way I 
carried off Mr. Van Tousel. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Well, I don't know. I thought 
from the expression on your face when Mrs. Thom and 
I came back from seeing Mildred that you had been 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 67 

flirting more seriously with Mr. Becker. He is not 
at all dangerous because he holds such a low opinion 
about the ability of women, but Mr. Van Tousel is 
wriggling his way straight into Mildred's heart with 
his pretended interest in "the cause. " 

MRS. BROWN. I must confess I like Mr. Becker best. 
He is more of a man and therefore more manageable. 
Besides there is Mr. Van Tousel's mother. She is 
vice-president in so many societies that she might 
want to be president in her son's house. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I was n't thinking about your 
marrying one of them, Imogene. 

MRS. BROWN. I know you were not, but I was. 
I can't marry Mr. Van Tousel, I am afraid, not even 
for your sake, Josephine, but don't worry about him. 
I do not believe he can ever win Mildred. She is too 
sensible to be attracted by him. Mr. Becker is the 
dangerous man. Unlike seeks unlike, you know. I 
will do what I can to change Mr. Becker's thoughts, 
but you must help me. Ask us to dinner together 
again. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Did you notice how that Slavinsky 
girl made eyes at Mr. Van Tousel? She is a horribly 
bold girl. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, she will probably keep him busy. 
Now, you have cleared the field of two suitors in one 
afternoon, but what will you do if another man turns 
up? I can't divorce Mr. Becker and start in on some 
one else in order to protect Mildred; besides that 
would leave Mr. Becker free and open to consolation. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Oh dear, I don't know what I 
shall ever do. I am worried to death with the com- 



68 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

plications that have arisen in this house recently. 
Here is the cook striking because she says women are 
imposed upon in a country where they are not allowed 
to vote. She is going out to California, since the 
franchise has been given to women there, for she says 
that although she voted before she left her home in 
Norway, she is afraid she will forget how if she does n't 
keep in practice. 

MRS. BROWN. Why, I did not know that one could 
forget how to vote. I thought it was like swimming, 
once learned always remembered. I have knovv'n 
men who have not voted for years because they forgot 
to register or wanted to play golf on election day or 
some other silly reason, and then suddenly they would 
vote again because they said it was an election 
that was important for the business interests of the 
country. They never seemed to forget how to vote. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Helma says it is the same as her 
cooking. If she does n't make a dish every day or two 
she loses the knack of it. George complains awfully 
when she gives us the same thing too often, but what 
can I do? Helma says, too, that she wants to reach 
California before the next presidential election be- 
cause she wishes to write home how she helped to 
elect a President of the great United States. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, you can't mind her leaving if 
Mr. Tilsbury is growing tired of her cooking. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes I do ; the next one will prob- 
ably be worse. Katy is going away too. She is 
going to marry right away because her intended says 
that if she stays any longer in this house of insurgents, 
he won't marry her at all! Mrs. Thorn is working 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 69 

Mildred for all she is worth, and you are flirting with 
Mr. Becker instead of Mr. Van Tousel. George will 
be so cross when he hears it all. Everything seems to 
be in a muddle. 

MRS. BROWN. Don't be so discouraged. I must 
go now, but I will run in to-morrow and we will try 
and arrange something. Perhaps you might get 
Mildred interested in collecting postal cards. That 
would be a cheap pursuit, unless it was discovered that 
the ancient Egyptians used them and you had to pay 
a fabulous price for a postal card from Cleopatra to 
Mark Antony encrusted with pearls. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Yes, come to-morrow, Imogene; 
perhaps you can help me. 

MRS. BROWN. Good-bye, dear. Cheer up. 

(MRS. BROWN pioks Up Cochoti and goes ouL 
Curtain), 



ACT III 

Library at the tilsburys'. mr. tilsbury at one end 
reading a newspaper, mrs. tilsbury at the other^ 
with a pad and pencil making sketches at random, 

KATY. {Announcing mrs. brown.) 

MRS. BROWN. {Enters, dressed in automobile costume.) 
How do you do? I know it is n't time to start yet 
on our automobile ride, but I came early on purpose, 
because I wanted to have a little chat with Josephine. 
Now, Mr. Tilsbury, you go back to your newspaper 
and don't listen to what we say. 

MR. TILSBURY. Hats and gowns, I suppose. No, 
I won't listen to you, Mrs. Brown. I am reading the 
President's Message. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, I did n't know he had sent one. 
Was it a wireless? 

MR. TILSBURY. Well, most people seem to think it 
indicates wire-pulling. 

MRS. BROWN. Dear me, how interesting. Come 
over here on the sofa, Josephine. I want you to tell 
me all about them. 

MRS. TILSBURY. About whom? 

MRS. BROWN. Why about Mr. Becker and Mr. Van 
Tousel, of course. 

MRS. TILSBURY. You know as much about them as 

70 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 71 

I do. They are both after Mildred because of her 
money, and they keep running here all the time. They 
seem nice enough men otherwise. 

MRS. BROWN. They are too old for Mildred. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Yes, but all the young men and 
boys are scared off by her seriousness and rights of 
women ideas, but old birds you know are harder to 
frighten away. They think that if a marriage some- 
times reforms a man, it generally transforms a woman 
into the stereotyped wife, and that as soon as Mildred 
is married she will settle down. {Goes on drawing.) 

MRS. BROWN. What are you doing? 

MRS. TILSBURY. I was trying to design a cellar 
decoration. 

MRS. BROWN. I thought they were generally white- 
washed, but of course living in an apartment, it is so 
long since I have thought about a cellar or a roof that 
I am not up to the latest fads. 

MRS. TILSBURY. The Committee on Art of the 
Unseen Blushers were so struck with my picture of 
the street cleaner that they have asked me to submit 
to them some plans for decorating cellars. 

MRS. BROWN. That does n't sound very compli- 
mentary. Cellars are so dark that no one will see 
your work. 

MRS. TILSBURY. On the contrary, a great many 
people will see it. It is for the elevation of furnace 
men and the men who put away the coal. It is to 
give them a sense of the beautiful and an appreciation 
of the artistic. Spending so much of their time in 
dark hideous cellars, they lose so much of the higher 
life that it is really the duty of rich householders to 



72 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

remember these poor men who have been so long 
neglected and try to make the scene of their daily 
tasks more in harmony with their own luxurious 
drawing-rooms. I have been so happy this week 
working over these designs, for I have felt that I was 
doing good to others, and at the same time that I was 
indulging myself in my beloved art. 

MRS. BROWN. And you have been neglecting 
Mildred? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Not at all. She has been feeling 
rather tired as a result of the parade. She did not 
even go to the Suffragist's Tea that Mrs. Thom gave 
yesterday. 

MRS. BROWN. And Mr. Becker and Mr. Van 
Tousel? What have you done about them? 

MRS. TILSBURY. She has refused to come down to 
see either of them because of headaches. 

MRS. BROWN. Do you suppose that what that little 
Slavinsky girl said about Mr. Becker was true? 

MRS. TILSBURY. What did she say? 

MRS. BROWN. Don't you remember? She said 
she saw him at the theatre with a lady friend. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {Indifferently.) Oh, very likely, it 
is true. Men are like the moon, they never show but 
one side of their surface to the world of women. I 
am going to put a moon up in this corner. Would 
you make it full or three-quarters? 

MRS. BROWN. They show enough of their other 
side after they are married. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Don't marry them then. I think 
I will make this a new moon. It is more suggestive 
of a bright future, and circles are so difficult to draw. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 73 

MRS. BROWN. Josephine, you are positively unkind. 
Here I have done everything to protect Mildred from 
Mr. Becker and Mr. Van Tousel and now that I have 
succeeded so well that she is too piqued to receive 
either of them, you won't help me by giving me some 
definite information about them. You don't care for 
anything but that old drawing. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I must present this to the com- 
mittee to be passed upon by Tuesday. You are un- 
reasonable, Imogene. How can I find out about Mr. 
Becker's moral character? 

MRS. BROWN. You could ask your husband. 

MRS. TILSBURY. You know what men are. They 
never give each other away to women. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, they always form a close cor- 
poration to keep each other in and women form a close 
corporation to keep each other out. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I suppose that that is an elemental 
instinct. Primaeval men as hunters were obliged to 
combine to overcome the strength of their prey, and 
women as the hunted used to separate to disperse their 
trails. 

MRS. BROWN. I am sure I don't care what the 
reason was. I will leave that to Mrs. Thom. I only 
want to know if Mr. Becker is unattached, and I can't 
go around enquiring about him so I want you to. A 
married woman ought to be able to find out everything 
from her husband. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I think it was Mrs. Thom whom I 
heard make that reference to primitive man. She or 
some other Suffragist. She was trying to urge the 
women to be more co-operative. Well, I will ask 



74 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

George sometime if he knows anything about Mr. 
Becker's private life, but, for my own part, I like Mr. 
Van Tousel best, you know. There 's the bell now. 
That must be he. I '11 go and put on my coat. 

MRS . B ROWN . Are they both coming this afternoon ? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. No, Only Mr. Van Tousel. Mr. 
Becker had another engagement, but he is coming 
here later for tea. 

{Enter katy with a card on a salver.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. Who is it, Katy? Bring me the 
card. Mr. Edward Melvin. I don't know him. He 
must have come to the wrong house when he intended 
calling on some one else. Take the card back to the 
gentleman and tell him he has made a mistake. 

KATY. He asked for Miss Tilsbury, ma'am. I 
thought she was here. She must be in her room. I 
will take the card to her. 

MRS. TILSBURY. But Miss Tilsbury can't know him 
either, if I don't. There must be a mistake somewhere. 

KATY. I think Miss Tilsbury knows him, ma'am. 
He has been here every day this week. 

MRS. TILSBURY. What! And you never told me. 

KATY. He never asked for you, ma 'am. He always 
asked for Miss Mildred. 

MRS. TILSBURY. But Miss Tilsbury's friends are 
mine. 

KATY. You just said you did n*t know him, 
ma 'am ; besides you were out a-playin' Bridge every 
afternoon. 

MR. TILSBURY. You do not Seem to have been a 
very careful chaperone, Josephine. Who is this 
man? 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 75 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I don't know. I never heard of 
him. Every one seems to have conspired to deceive 
me. {To KA.TY severely.) Tell Mr. Melvin that Miss 
Tilsbury is out. 

MRS. BROWN. Would that be wise, Josephine? If 
he has been here every day this week, things must 
have gone pretty far. You don't want to create 
opposition. 

MR. TILSBURY. Mclvin! What Melvin is that? 
Bring the card here, Katy. Edward Melvin, Harmony 
Club. Why he must be the president of the Cornering 
Trust Company. I can't afford to have him turned 
out of the house. He 's a very strong man. You 
must treat him politely, Josephine. 

MRS. TILSBURY. What am I to do? It 's one 
minute I must play the dragon and keep men away 
from Mildred, and the next minute that I must treat a 
man politely because he is of importance. I can't ask 
men here to dinner and then put poison in their food. 

MRS. BROWN. Never mind, dear. Let him come up 
here. I '11 help you out. He must be a better parti 
than Mr. Becker. I '11 try my fascinations on him. 

MRS. TILSBURY. If he has been here so often as 
Katy says, I am afraid that Mildred's fascinations are 
the only ones that will appeal to him. Oh, dear, it is 
dreadful to be a stepmother. One never knows what a 
child may have inherited from either father or mother, 
while in the case of one's own children, one at least 
knows if they take after oneself. 

MRS. BROWN. Or if they don't. It is as likely to 
be one way as the other. But come, have him up. 
Let us see the Romeo. 



76 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MRS. TILSBURY. I must Speak to Mildred first. 
Katy, ask Miss Tilsbury to come here. I must find 
out how she met him and what it all means. 

MRS. BROWN. Be careful. Don't make a martyr 
of her. (MILDRED enters.) 

MILDRED. What is it, Josephine? Katy said you 
wanted to speak to me. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Who is this Mr. Melvin who has 
come to see you. Where did you meet him? 

MILDRED. Oh, is he here? {She starts to leave the 
room.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. One minute, please. Tell us first 
where you met him. 

MILDRED. He said papa would know him. 

MR. TILSBURY. I know him in a business way but 
not socially. Tell us where you ran across him, 
Mildred. Why have you kept this acquaintance so 
secret? 

MILDRED. Why, I have n*t kept it secret. Jose- 
phine knew all about it. He 's the man who saw me 
home the day of the parade. 

MRS. TILSBURY. That man, but you did n't tell 
me he had been to call. 

MILDRED. I have not had a chance. You have 
been so busy with your painting in the morning and 
your bridge in the afternoon. I have not seen you 
alone, but I must go, I must not keep Mr. Melvin 
waiting any longer. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Would n't it be better to send for 
him to come here and let him meet your father. You 
forget, Mildred, that you are an heiress and that 3^ou 
must not form acquaintances on the street. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 77 

MILDRED. Mr. Melvin does n't know I am an 
heiress. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Every one knows it. Men make a 
business of knowing how much money a girl has. 
They have it printed in a little book like a time-table, 
"Bradshaw's" they call it. Only after a girl's name 
instead of putting the time the train arrives, they 
state the amount of her present fortune and the next 
stop is represented by her future expectations, and 
"discontinued " means, she has married some one else. 
All the men carry pocket editions of this book with 
them so as to avoid mistakes. 

MILDRED. I do not think that Mr. Melvin is 
attracted by my money. He would n't stoop to read 
such a book as you describe. 

MRS. TILSBURY. You have very likely told him 
yourself that you are an heiress. You are so used 
to the position. 

MILDRED. Oh, I did. I told him about my sub- 
scription to the D. D's and about mamma's leaving 
me all the money and only her portrait to papa. 
Do you really think he only wants me for my money? 
He seemed so high-minded and so much in love. Oh, 
what shall I do? 

MRS. TILSBURY. All men are alike. They are all 
looking for money when they think of marriage. Mrs. 
Brown can tell you that. 

MRS. BROWN. Yes, Mildred. I have not had a 
single offer of marriage since I became a widow and 
that was six months ago, just because the late Mr. 
Brown made a most unkind will and left all his money 
to his cousins if I married again. All the judges up- 



78 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

held the will. They had probably made their own 
similar. They would establish the suttee if they 
could. Never mind, dear, think how splendid it will 
be when you have won the ballot for women and we 
have lady judges. Mrs. Thom will make a fine judge. 
The men will never get a favorable decision from her. 
Meanwhile, until that happy day arrives, you are 
far better off living here in this peaceful home with 
your father and Josephine than you would be married 
to an adventurer. 

KATY. What shall I say to the gentleman, ma'am? 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I had forgotten he was here. Well, 
ask him to come up to this room. It will be better 
to have him meet your father, Mildred. 

(katy goes out.) 

MILDRED. He always enquires after papa. 

MRS. TILSBURY. He is afraid to meet him probably. 

MILDRED. Josephine, you are unjust. He is not 
at all the kind of man you seem to think he is. I am 
sure he is not a fortune hunter. He has lots of 
money of his own. 

Enter melvin just before she finishes speaking. 

MR. MELVIN. What do you know about fortune 
hunters, Miss Tilsbury? 

MILDRED. Nothing whatsoever, Mr. Melvin. 

They only trouble my stepmother. Let me introduce 

her, Mrs. Tilsbury, Mr. Melvin, and our friend Mrs. 

Brown. I think you said you had met my father. 

(melvin hows to MRS. BROWN and mrs. tilsbury, 

while MR. tilsbury comes forward and shakes 

hands with him.) 

MR. tilsbury. How do you do, Melvin? 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 79 

MR. MELVIN. Glad to See you again, Tilsbury. 
How are you feeling to-day, Miss Tilsbury, quite 
rested? 

MR. MELVIN. Did your daughter tell you, Mrs. 
Tilsbury, that she is educating me in the principles of 
Woman Suffrage? 

MRS. BROWN. (Aside.) Another Mr. Van Tousel. 

MRS. TILSBURY. No, she has never told me any- 
thing about you, Mr. Melvin. 

MRS. BROWN. Has she succeeded yet in convincing 
you of its importance? 

MR. MELVIN. No, it will be a slow process, I am 
afraid, but she has declared she will not give it up 
easily. 

MRS. BROWN. She has great success with her other 
delinquent pupils, so she naturally feels encouraged 
to try to convert you. 

MR. MELVIN. Here is the little book you loaned me. 

MILDRED. Is n't it splendid? 

MRS. BROWN. What book is that? 

MILDRED. It is called, How Women will Use the 
Ballot to Extend Home Influence. It is written by 
Sophie Slavinsky with a preface by Mrs. Thom. 

MR. MELVIN. The English of the author might be 
improved upon. 

MILDRED. But Miss Slavinsky is a foreigner. 
Would n't you like to take it to read, Mrs. Brown? 

MRS. BROWN. No, thank you. I really have no 
time to read. Why, I am so behind in society news 
even that I asked my maid to read me Urban Utter- 
ances this morning through the keyhole while I took 
my shower. I was going to lunch and I was afraid I 



8o WOMEN FOR VOTES 

would n*t understand a word of the conversation if 
I did n't study up beforehand. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. My manicure usually keeps me 
posted upon what is going on. She seems to know all 
the gossip about every one. 

MRS. BROWN. The masseuse I had last winter 
when I was prostrated after Mr. Brown's death was 
like that, but she found out such surprising things 
about people and excited me so much that the doctor 
stopped her coming. I used to lie awake all night 
after a massage instead of sleeping better as I was 
supposed to do. 

MR. MELViN. Are you not going to lend me another 
book, Miss Tilsbury? 

MILDRED. I am afraid you are not sufficiently 
appreciative. 

MR. MELVIN. I assure you my mind is open to con- 
viction, only I don't find Miss Slavinsky's book con- 
vincing. You are not going to stop my education so 
soon as this surely. Backward and defective pupils 
are the most considered in these progressive times. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {Speaking aside to MRS. brown.) 
Do something. He is making love to her before our 
very eyes. 

MRS. BROWN. Here I go to the rescue. I did not 
know that Miss Slavinsky wrote books. I thought 
her vocation was to usher at the theatre. 

MILDRED. That is what she is compelled to do, to 
support life, but her books are the expression of her 
soul. 

MR. MELVIN. Are you so loyal to all your friends, 
Miss Tilsbury? 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 8i 

MILDRED. When I believe in them. I wish you 
could meet Sophie and then you would see for your- 
self what a splendid girl she is. She is coming for 
tea at five o'clock. Won't you stay? 

MR. MELViN. Thank you. I should be very glad to. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. (Aside.) And it is just striking 
three now. Two hours before tea. 

KATY. (Announcing.) Mr. Van Tousel! 

MR. VAN TOUSEL enters. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Oh, Mrs. Tilsbury, I am so 
afraid I have kept you waiting, but I waited for my 
mother to bring me around in the carriage. I meet 
that Slavinsky girl so often passing the house that I 
have become quite anxious about going out alone. 
(He turns towards mildred.) How is the champion of 
her sex this morning. How do you do, Mrs. Brown? 
Hello, Melvin. Hello, Tilsbury. 

MR. MELVIN. How are you, Van Tousel? I am 
afraid I am keeping you, Mrs. Tilsbury. You have 
an engagement. 

MRS. TILSBURY. We wcrc going for a motor ride, 
Mr. Melvin, to see the line of war-ships in the North 
River. 

MR. TILSBURY. I '11 put on my overcoat. It 's 
time we started. (He goes out), 

MRS. TILSBURY. Mr. Tilsbury and I v/ant to thank 
you, Mr. Melvin, for your kindness in bringing Mil- 
dred home the day of the parade, but we tell her that 
although in this case, of course, everything was all 
right, she ought not to be quite so ready to trust a 
stranger. 

MR. MELVIN. I am afraid that she only had a 

e 



82 ■ WOMEN FOR VOTES 

choice between my taxicab and an ambulance that 
day, Mrs. Tilsbury, and the doctor in the ambulance 
would have been a stranger. 

MRS. TILSBURY. She might have telephoned to us. 

MILDRED. Why, Josephine, I was too dizzy headed 
to telephone. Everything was going round and round. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Well, Mr. Melvin might have 
telephoned then, but of course, I suppose you did the 
best you could, Mr. Melvin. Only it seems a rather 
curious affair. 

MRS. BROWN. I must go and put on my coat and 
pick up Cochon. I left him in the hall with the fur 
coats. I was afraid to bring him near the fire. Dear 
little thing, how he does love a motor ride. He grunts 
all the way. 

{She goes out.) 

MR. MELVIN. Good-bye, Mrs. Tilsbury, I am 
delighted to have met you. I hope you will enjoy 
your ride, Miss Tilsbury. 

MILDRED. I am not going. 

MRS. TILSBURY and MR. VAN TOUSEL. Not going! 
Why not? 

MILDRED. No, I have a cold. I told you I was n't 
going at luncheon. Don't you remember, Josephine? 
Won't you stay and talk to me, Mr. Melvin? 

MR. MELVIN. I should be delighted to, if you are 
sure it won't make your cold worse. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Why, I did n't know you had a 
cold, Mildred. You said at luncheon that you had a 
headache. 

MILDRED. Well, that was brought about by the 
cold. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 83 

MRS. TiLSBURY. You look SO wcll. I thought it 
had passed off. 

{Re-enter mrs. brown in fur coat with cockon under 
her arm.) 

MRS. brown. Does n't Cochon match my coat 
nicely? 

MRS. TILSBURY. Mildred is not going with us. She 
says she has a cold. 

MRS. BROWN. Oh, come along, Mildred. The 
fresh air will do your cold good. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Yes, Miss Mildred. Don't 
disappoint us in this way. Melvin will come and see 
you another time. 

MRS. BROWN. Why won't Mr. Melvin come with us? 

MR. MELVIN. Thank you. I can't very well. I 
have an engagement for four o'clock. 

MRS. BROWN. I thought you were going to stay 
here for tea at five o'clock. 

MR. MELVIN. I was coming back to tea to meet 
Miss Slavinsky. 

(mr. TILSBURY retums dressed in fur coat and 
goggles.) 

MR. TILSBURY. Comc along, Josephine. Are you 
not ready yet? The days are growing so short that 
we ought to start right away if we are going to return 
before dark. 

MRS. BROWN. We are waiting for Mildred. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {Decidedly.) If you do not feel 
well enough to go, Mildred, I will stay at home with 
you. Perhaps we had best send for the doctor. 

MILDRED. Oh, don't stay at home for me, Josephine. 
I shall be all right. 



84 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MR. MELVIN. I will take good care of her, Mrs. 
Tilsbury. Don't worry. 

MRS. BROWN. (Aside.) No doubt he will. {To 
Mildred.) Let me stay with you, Mildred dear. 

MILDRED. Oh, no, Mrs. Brown. Cochon would 
be so disappointed. 

MR. TILSBURY. Come, come, Josephine, we can go 
and be back in less time than you take to argue about 
it. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {To MRS. BROWN.) Men are so 
dense. What shall I do? 

MRS. BROWN. Go and come back. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I guess that will be best. (Mak- 
ing a last effort.) Are you sure you won't go, 
Mildred? You would n't feel cold sitting between 
Mrs. Brown and me on the back seat and this is 
your last chance you know. The fleet sails away 
to-morrow. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. You ought n't to miss seeing it, 
Miss Mildred. It is an international event. 

MILDRED. Butwhat would become of Cochon? He 
will have to sit between you and Mrs. Brown, Jose- 
phine. 

MRS. TILSBURY. We will leave Cochon here. 

MILDRED. Oh, no! That would be a pity. He 
enjoys automobiling so much. Do hurry, Josephine. 
Here, let me hold your coat for you. 

MR. TILSBURY. (From below.) Josephine, are you 
coming? It will be dark before we start. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Yes, dear, we 're all ready. Good- 
bye, Mildred. Take good care of yourself. Good-bye, 
Mr. Melvin. 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 85 

ALL. Good-bye, good-bye. {Exit all but mildred 
and MELViN.) 

MR. MELviN. (Softly.) At last they have all gone. 
Do they always bother you like this? 

MILDRED. Yes, Josephine fusses over me all the 
time. Fortunately this week she has been busy over 
her drawing and I have been a little free to do what I 
chose. Oh, what am I saying? 

MR. MELVIN. You Were unconsciously paying me 
an indirect compliment which it was very sweet to 
me to hear. 

MILDRED. I have done lots of things that I wanted 
to do this week, Mr. Melvin. You were n't the only 
thing. 

MR. MELVIN. Am I a thing? 

MILDRED. Well, people then. I have seen lots of 
people. 

MR. MELVIN. (Suspiciously.) Men? 

MILDRED. Men and women both. (To change the 
subject.) I don't know but what you were right about 
the Daughters of the Danaides, Mr. Melvin. 

MR. MELVIN. Right how? 

MILDRED. About their drawing water in a sieve. 
I am beginning to be very discouraged. We do not 
seem to accomplish anything. There does n*t seem 
to be any prospect of our ever really accomplishing 
anything, and sometimes I am not sure that the others 
care; even Mrs. Thom seems to enjoy the excitement 
more than she is concerned about results. 

MR. MELVIN. Why, do you know, I am begmning 
to be of just the opposite opinion and to believe that 
societies like the Daughters of the Danaides do a lot 



86 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

of good in teaching women to organize and to 
think and to prepare themselves eventually for the 
vote. 

MILDRED. Then we are just as far apart in agreeing 
as ever — since we have both turned around. 

MR. MELViN. Not at all, for we have each had two 
points of view now and can sympathize better with 
each other. 

MILDRED. I am so glad to talk with you. I feel so 
lonely. Josephine and I have so little in common and 
Mrs. Thom and Sophie have such different ideas from 
mine. I am afraid I am not strong minded. 

MR. MELVIN. Don't be. Talk to me all you want. 
I think you have beautiful ideas. 

MILDRED. They are very foolish ones I am afraid. 

MR. MELVIN. Not to me. Mildred, marry me and 
then we can talk over these matters more intimately 
as men and women should, and then we could help 
each other to understand all these questions better. 

MILDRED. I never thought of this. 

MR. MELVIN. No, but I have and I want you very 
much dear. I can teach you to carry water in a sieve 
in a more scientific way than the old Danaides ever 
thought of. 

MILDRED. How is that? Will you stop up the 
holes? 

MR. MELVIN. No, that would take too long. I 
have a better plan. We will freeze the water into ice. 

MILDRED. If I married you what would papa and 
Josephine do without me? I have all the money, you 
know, and support the house. 

MR. MELVIN. That could be arranged. I have 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 87 

plenty of money for both you and me and I am making 
more all the time. The Cornering Trust is in splendid 
condition. 

MILDRED. And mamma's portrait, I should hate to 
leave it. It is my Guardian Angel, you know. 

MR. MELVIN. I have a splendid idea. We '11 buy 
the portrait. We will pay an enormous price for it 
and establish a record value. Then we will have the 
picture and your father will have enough to live on. 
He would be willing to part with the portrait, would n't 
he? 

MILDRED. I think so, to me at any rate. It is by 
Madrazo. It is really a valuable painting. 

MR. MELVIN. Then, Mildred, dear, please do not 
try to think of any more objections. I should try very 
hard to make you happy. 

MILDRED. We have known each other for so short a 
time. 

MR. MELVIN. That is very true. We must begin 
to grow better acquainted at once. {He takes her hand 
in his.) Suppose I give you a few lessons in how to 
fall in love in exchange for those lessons in the prin- 
ciples of women's rights. 

MILDRED. I am afraid you are not very serious. 

MR. MELVIN. Forgive me, sweetheart, if I seem 
frivolous. I have never felt more serious in my life. 
{Puts his arm around her.) 

(Enter MR. and MRS. tilsbury, followed by mrs. 
BROWN who holds a handkerchief to her eyes 
and is assisted to walk hy MR. van tousel.) 

MRS. TILSBURY. A tire broke and we were obliged 
to come home in a trolley car. 



88 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

MR. TILSBURY. I don't See what was the matter 
with that tire. It was only put on last week. 

MRS. BROWN. And Cochon is killed. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. And my fur coat has been stolen. 

ALL. Seeing melvin and Mildred Oh ! 

MILDRED. Mr. Melvin and I are engaged, papa. 

MR. TILSBURY. Engaged without asking my con- 
sent! I forbid it. 

MR. MELVIN. {Understanding his thoughts.) I was 
just going to ask it, Tilsbury. I am going to take two 
treasures away from you at once, — your daughter and 
your late wife's portrait. Mildred wants it and I will 
give you $200,000 for it. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {Aside.) Thank Heaven, I shall 
not be obliged to go to any more Woman Suffrage 
meetings. 

MR. TILSBURY. Melvin, this is a surprise to me. 
You must let me think it over. 

MRS. TILSBURY. {Aside.) And to get rid of the old 
portrait too. The whole thing is too good to be true. 
{To MR. TILSBURY.) Don't keep Mr. Melvin in sus- 
pense, George. The cruel parent is out of fashion 
nowadays. 

MILDRED. Dear papa, Edward and I are going to 
be so happy together. 

MR. TILSBURY. {Aside.) Two hundred thousand 
dollars and my commissions as trustee. Melvin has 
his hands so full now, he won't want to bother with 
the care of Mildred's little fortune. {To melvin.) 
Melvin, I will entrust my daughter to your hands. 
I am sure you are worthy of her. As to the portrait 
— bitter as it is to me to part with this last token of 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 89 

my late wife's affection bequeathed to me in her will, 
yet for Mildred's sake I will give you her dear 
mother's portrait for $200,000. 

KATY. {Announcing.) Mrs. Thom. 

(MRS. THOM enters.) 

MRS. BROWN. Two broken tires in one day and 
Cochondead. It is too much. (Sobs.) 

MRS. TSOM. I was so disappointed that you 
could n't come to pour tea at the Suffrage reception 
yesterday. I am so sorry you have been ill, dear 
child. I hope you are feeling better to-day. {Looks 
at her suspiciously.) 

miLdred. Yes, indeed, Mrs. Thom, I am quite 
recovered, thank you. I hated to fall out the last 
minute, but I had such a bad headache that I could 
not have carried the tea in the sieve — the tea strainer, 
I mean. 

MRS. THOM. Well, you must come next week. The 
teas are to be held at the Club-house every Friday 
during the month. The cups all have "Votes for 
Women" on them, and I charge fifty cents for a cup 
of tea and the purchaser carries the cup home. It is 
a very good arrangement, for we make quite a little 
sum in our sales and the cups remind the purchasers 
of the cause. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. I am afraid Mildred will not have 
much time for Woman Suffrage teas at present, Mrs. 
Thom. She has just become engaged to Mr. Melvin. 

MRS. THOM. Mildred engaged ! Why, when did that 
happen? 

MRS. TILSBURY. About an hour ago. It is a result 
of your Woman Suffrage Parade. Mr. Melvin saw 



90 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

Mildred home in a taxi cab on that day, you remember. 

MRS. THOM. Dear child, I hope you will be happy, 
but knowing from my own case and from that of many 
of my friends how unequal are the risks that men and 
women assume in the married state, I can only tremble 
for your future. Of course your fiance believes in the 
cause, otherwise you would not have accepted him. 

MILDRED. Oh, Josephine, how could you! We 
were not going to announce our engagement just yet. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I thought you wcre announcing 
it rather emphatically when we came in. 

MILDRED. I want to introduce you to Mr. Melvin, 
Mrs. Thom. He has just finished reading your pre- 
face to Sophie's book and is delighted to have the 
opportunity to tell you how much he enjoyed it. 

MR. MELVIN. I am glad to meet you, Mrs. Thom, 
but I cannot claim your friendship on false pretences. 
I regret to say I skipped your preface. It is the one 
thing I have learned from the Shavian philosophy, but 
I will ask Mildred to tell me about it sometime. 

MRS. THOM. Of course your fiance has signed the 
petition, Mildred? 

MR. MELVIN. No, Mrs. Thom, I do not believe 
sufficiently in "the cause" to be willing to sign the 
petition. 

MRS. THOM. Do you know what petition I mean? 

MR. MELVIN. Certainly: the petition to the State 
Legislature for the Enfranchisement of Women 
Citizens. 

MRS. THOM. You know about the petition and yet 
you refuse to subscribe to it! Mildred, dear, this is a 
question of your future happiness. I might almost 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 91 

say of your future safety. Reflect before it is too late 
what it means to put yourself in the power of a man 
who believes in the continued enslavement of women. 

MR. MELVIN. Oh, Mrs. Thom, you are too severe. 
If I am in no hurry to see women voting and a re- 
duplication of the ignorant vote, I refuse to be called a 
Bluebeard. I believe that noble women are inherent 
queens above the vote, not below it. 

MRS. THOM. In England they class women with 
children and lunatics in barring them from political 
rights. In New York, the Constitution extends the 
vote to any male citizen over twenty-one years old 
regardless of whether he is sane or insane. Even a 
lunatic if he be a male is held superior to a woman. 

MRS. BROWN. That *s because so many men are a 
little queer. If votes could be challenged for craziness 
as well as for illegal residence the watchers at the polls 
would never finish their tasks. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. I want to wish you every happi- 
ness, Miss Mildred, but like Mrs. Thom, I feel a little 
uncertain about your future. A woman who is so 
strong on the subject of Woman Suffrage as you are 
ought to marry a man who could sympathize with her. 

MILDRED. Oh, but Edward does sympathize with 
me. He has been sympathizing with me all the week. 
I never met any one who understood me so well. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Perhaps I should have said 
sympathize in ' ' the cause. ' ' A man and a woman who 
believe in the same cause when joined together can do 
so much for its advancement. 

MILDRED. I will convert him after we are married. 

MRS. THOM. It will be too late then. Conversion 



92 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

after marriage is like putting yeast in bread after it is 
baked. It cannot raise the fallen. 

(Enter sophie slavinsky and becker. The 
latter a little shamefaced.) 

KATY. {Announcing.) Mr. and Mrs. Becker! 

MILDRED. Oh, Sophie, I am so glad to see you. I 
want to be the first to tell you of my engagement to 
Mr. Melvin, since Josephine has already let the cat 
out of the bag. 

SOPHIE. How lovely! Let me kiss you. Marriage 
is true happiness for a woman. We must have a little 
talk together, you and I. {Turning to others,) How 
do you all do, you dear good people. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. How do you do, Miss Slavinsky. 

SOPHIE. Mrs. Becker, please, Mrs. Theodore 
Halowell Becker. We have just been married by the 
Mayor and I stopped here to see Mildred before we 
start on the honeymoon. Nicht Wahr, dearest? 
{To Becker.) 

MRS. THOM. You have married that man — that 
monster who tramples the rights of women beneath 
his feet like worms in the dust ! 

SOPHIE. We have — what you call it? — swapped 
votes, like two men, a Republican and a Democrat, 
when they want to go play golf on election day. 
They two agree, not one will vote. Then everything 
is cancelled. So Mr. Becker and me — he is a great 
big opponent to the cause and I am a strong advocate. 
If we both keep quiet the result is zero, see? 

MRS. BROWN. Ah, yes, you and Mr. Becker have 
become two adjacent hemispheres. 

SOPHIE. {After a slight pause.) Yes, every brain 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 93 

consists of two hemispheres, and I am proud to be a 
hemisphere of Mr. Becker's great, big, splendid brain. 

MILDRED. This is such a beautiful surprise. Sophie, 
dear, do tell us how it all happened. 

SOPHIE. Well, you see that day when Mr. Becker 
met me here, he came to the theatre the next night 
to see if I really usher and he bought his ticket so late 
he was obliged to take a way back and sit down seat ; 
almost under the — what do you call it? — oh, yes, the 
undress circle where people wear their business clothes. 
Just as I had shown him his place and had pushed 
down his seat and made him comfortable, and had 
given him a programme, which he had forgot to take, 
and was going to help him off with his overcoat, I hap- 
pened to look up, and there was a big pair of opera- 
glasses falling down from the undress circle right 
towards his dear little bald spot, as if it were a bull's- 
eye, and I put out my arm and it hit my arm instead 
of his head and made one great blue spot. It is there 
yet, see. {Bares arm.) 

MILDRED. You savcd Mr. Becker's life and then he 
married you ! How romantic ! It is just like Edward 
and me, only it was Edward that saved my life that 
day of the Parade. 

MR. BECKER. Pardon me. Miss Tilsbury, you 
women 

SOPHIE. Dear! 

MR. BECKER. Exccpt you, Sophie, you women all 
generalize from one example. Sophie did probably 
save my life, but Mr. Melvin can hardly be said to 
have saved yours. 

SOPHIE. Is he not sweet? He has promised now 



94 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

whenever he says "you women" to make of me an 
exception. 

MILDRED. But go on With youf story, Sophie. 
What happened next when you had saved Mr. Becker's 
head from the opera-glasses? 

MRS. BROWN. Did the owner ever claim them? 

SOPHIE. I don't know. I returned them to the 
lost and found ofBce. Well, my arm was so hurted 
that I could not usher any more this last week. How 
could I put out disorderly audiences with one arm laid 
up in a sling? Well, Mr. Becker came to see me every 
day with flowers and — well, love did the rest. 

MILDRED. Well, dear Sophie, I am so glad you are 
happy. 

MRS. THOM. I suppose wc shall not see you at the 
tea on next Friday. 

SOPHIE. No, we are going to Niagara, for our 
honeymoon. It is train time now, Theodore, nicht 
wahr? 

MR. BECKER. I think we should be starting. 
You women — except you, Sophie — are so apt to miss 
trains. 

SOPHIE. Au revoir, Auf wiedersehen! See you 
later. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Good-bye. My congratulations, 
Becker. 

{The Beckers leave after embraces and kisses.) 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. There but for the kindness of 
Providence goes Henry Van Tousel. 

MILDRED. Dear me, has n't this been a wonderful 
afternoon! Poor little me engaged and Sophie 
married ! 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 95 

MR. MELViN. It has been the most successful day 
of my life. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Well, it is all the result of your 
Parade, Mrs. Thorn. The Parade seems to have been 
a more speedy matchmaker than a dancing class. 

MRS. THOM. I shall not stay here to be insulted. 

MILDRED. Oh, Mrs. Thom, no one is insulting you. 
Don't spoil this beautiful day. Let me give you a cup 
of tea. I am going to celebrate my engagement by 
giving a little gift to the cause. 

MR. MELVIN. I will double it, Mrs. Thom. 

MRS. BROWN. (Aside.) It is probably the last. 

MRS. THOM. Make the check out to me please, 
Mary Henrietta Thom. We have no treasurer at 
present, and I am taking charge of the donations. I 
won't stay for tea, thank you. I have an engagement 
and I know that you and Mr. Melvin have a lot to 
say to each other. Good-bye, dear child. May you 
be happy. (She kisses mildred, bows to the others, 
and goes.) 

MRS. BROWN. (Aside to MRS. TILSBURY.) Well, 

there does not seem to be any one left for me but Mr. 
Van Tousel and his vice-president mother. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Cheer up, dear, no one ever made 
a success out of a vice-presidency except Roosevelt. 

MRS. BROWN. Well, I will hope for the best. Mr. 
Van Tousel, I feel so upset over Cochon's death. I 
am afraid to go home alone. Will you see me around 
the corner? It is not very far. The apartment will 
be so lonesome without Cochon. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Certainly, I will see you home, 
Mrs. Brown, I am coming in to call on you too. I 



96 WOMEN FOR VOTES 

have never been before because somehow I could not 
reconcile my idea of you as a lovely woman with a 
pig as a companion. 

MRS. TiLSBURY. Beauty and the Beast, Mr. Van 
Tousel. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. True, I had forgotten that tale. 

MILDRED. How was Cochon killed, Mrs. Brown, or 
would it make you feel too badly to tell me about it ? 

MRS. BROWN. He fell out of the automobile and 
was run over by an automobile coming in the opposite 
direction. Oh dear. 

MR. VAN TOUSEL. Come, Mrs. Brown. Let me 
give you my arm. Good-afternoon, Mrs. Tilsbury. 
Thank you for a delightful ride. Best wishes, Miss 
Tilsbury, and to you, Melvin. 

MRS. BROWN. Good-bye, Josephine. I will tele- 
phone in the morning. 

MRS. TILSBURY. I think I know what it will be 
about. Good luck to you, Imogene. 

(MRS. BROWN and MR. VAN TOUSEL gO OUt.) 

MILDRED. Is she going to have a funeral for 
Cochon? 

MR. TILSBURY. No, she sold him to a butcher for 
twenty-five dollars while Mr. Van Tousel went around 
the comer to get her sal volatile at a chemist's. 
Cochon was killed at a convenient place, — right 
opposite a butcher's shop. Then she closed at once 
with the people in the other automobile for fifty dollars 
for all damages. Good business woman, Mrs. Brown. 
Good friend for you, Josephine, but she 11 do you some 
day. 

MRS. TILSBURY. Well, as my duties as a chaperone 



WOMEN FOR VOTES 97 

seem to be over, I think I shall return to my art. You 
will dine with us to-night, will you not, Mr. Melvin? 
We shall be quite en famille. 

MR. MELVIN. Thank you, I should like to very 
much. 

MR. TiLSBURY. Well, I am off to the Club. See 
you later, Melvin. 

(mr. and mrs. tilsbury go out.) 

MR. MELVIN. Hereafter I am going to change the 
war-cry to the singular, and say, "Votes for one 
woman." 

MILDRED. And I shall say, "Votes for one man." 

(Curtain.) 



SEP 26 1912 




005 319 586 6 



